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How do I get my husband to spend more family time???

My husband is a gamer. He plays World of Warcraft and can play for hours. We have been together for 12 years (since highschool) and have a 4 year old daughter. He will get off the computer if I ask him to, but I don't want to keep asking him to spend time with his wife and child. He is on there during the day when he isn't working and then at night from about 8pm-almost 2 am. What about me and alone time??? If I ask him to come cuddle he automatically thinks sex. I have almost left him 3 different times. We will discuss it and he gets better for about a month or so then it is back to the same routine. I am so lonely and so confused. Please help.

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StevensWife

Asked by StevensWife at 7:11 PM on Jul. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (59 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • If he does not want to change you can not force him to. You could get rid of the games. Or try to get him to have family time once a week at first and gradually make it more days.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:15 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • i would say put a limit on how much time he can spend on there a day, come up with it together though. tell him it's interfering with your marriage, and you need to find a permanent solution.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 7:17 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • I am also in a relationship with a gamer. If I ask him to stop and spend some quality time with us then he will do so. We eat dinner together 5 days a week and then about once a week we have time with each other and once a week we both have an alone night that we get to hang with friends or have a quiet evening at home. This arrangement is working well for us and has for the last several years. I would talk to him and try to find an arrangement that will work for the both of you so that you both get what you need and want from your relationship. I hope it works out for you.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 7:17 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Would an actual calendar/chart help in any way? You could agree on family time, couple time, game time? IDK......just an idea......
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:17 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Have you tried to do things with him he is interested in? Since he like video games, maybe you can join in and play a game a two. It may not be something that you are interested in but he may enjoy the fact you are attempting to do something he likes to do. If he is spending a significant amount of time on the computer or with the video games there may be other issues going on. He may be trying to avoid interacting with the family for issues he may be having. Maybe asking him what he would like to do as a family would make him more likely to be more involved.
    lawmom27

    Answer by lawmom27 at 7:20 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Maybe I am too old, but I don't understand why an adult would pick a video game over spending time with a child. Your spouse has some serious issues with priorties, and needs to live in the real world.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:04 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • You don't. He has to want it. You can't make him want it.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 8:15 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

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