Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

would this bother you??

my dh has had a friend (who lives in canada) for the last 3 years. they met before him and i. BUT when i was pregnant i caught him outside on the phone with her. i was sooo pissed. he claims she was having boyfriend issues (whocares...) anyway since then i can't stand their friendship. anytime i bring it up he defends her. what makes it more annoying is she leave little comments on his fb page and so on. i mean he really defends her and that hurts...maybe i should let it go. but i know if it was the other was around he would feel the same way.

Answer Question

Asked by mOmMyWiFeNuRsE3 at 9:34 PM on Jul. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (288 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • what kinds of little comments does she leave him?

    Answer by Mommy2JoshNJake at 9:36 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • i would be talking to my husband about it for sure. even if it is harmless you dont like it and he should have enough respect to stop it. forsake all others.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 9:36 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • I think you need to get a grip. She's a friend- when I have BF problems, I call one of my good guy friends, because they usually offer insights as to what he may be thinking (unlike women, who scream cheater at EVERYTHING). If you trust him, it should not even be an issue.


    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 9:38 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • No, it wouldn't bother me at all. My DH has a few female friends, and I'm not really a fan of any of them. But they were friends before he and I even met and have proven to be good friends (generally) over the years. Why would it bother me just because they were female? I don't see anything here that says they are more than friends, so why do you let it get to you? Did you assume that once you got together he would ditch all his other friends? If so you were looking for to much. So what if he talks to her on the phone or online, they aren't going out till all hours and leaving you home or sneaking around behind your back... What's the big deal?

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 9:38 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • "Forsake all others" does NOT mean control and isolation.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 9:39 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • It would for sure unless he was more open about it which he clearly is not!

    Answer by ABusyBee at 9:39 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • She is not saying she controls him and she never once said anything about cheating? You're coming to conclusions. She asked would it bother you if your man was getting inappropriate comments on FB page by another woman and hiding their relationship...


    Answer by ABusyBee at 9:41 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Talking to a friend does not bother me at all. If I had reason to suspect it was more than a friendship, then there may have to be a talk about it. Your husband chose to marry you, right? Also remember that girls are a vindictive bunch and she may have heard you have an issue with her and does stuff like leave messages on his FB to piss you a subtle way...

    Answer by michelle121003 at 9:42 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • My SO had a friend who was like this, I asked him to stop talking to her for a while, and he did, a whole year and a half. He finally talked to her again a week before I had my son and she confessed that she wished she could do things over again, she thought she would have a chance at some point later in life but now with me and the new baby she felt like she missed out. He told her it obviously wasn't meant to be and the feelings weren't mutual.

    so my intuition was right on and if yours is saying she has other motives, put your foot down. If this friendship makes you uncomfy then he needs to respect your wishes so you two can progress and be good parents, and not have this drama in yout relationship. JMO

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 9:46 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • i am having the exact same issue! my hubby has a female friend that he goes and hangs out with occasionally, and thinks its totally fine. i absolutely hate her, and he takes her side and thinks im being controlling when i tell him to stop hanging out with her. So i totally don't know what to do. I made them stop being friends and now he hates me for being mean! I would never be friends with a guy who's married unless i was friends with the woman too and only hung out when she was around. i dont know what these bitch's are thinking

    Answer by Butterflysky_24 at 10:20 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.