Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

How do I deal with my 16 year old brother who is experimenting with alcohol and i think drugs?

I am the oldest sibling and my step mom who is my brother's mom just passed away from cervical cancer she was only 40 :( So my brother has always been a good kid but now I think he is depressed and has been experimenting and I really dont want him to go down the wrong path. Our father is no longer involved and he lives with his stepdad who is never home. I am an adult and I live in a nice house with my husband and 3 kids and I want him to come live with me but I am not sure how to approach it. He doesn't know that I know what he has been up to and I really wanna staighten him out. The poor kid has been through way too much! Please any help would be appreciated!

Answer Question
 
heidi1016

Asked by heidi1016 at 11:04 PM on Jul. 12, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 3 (14 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • i think you should just flat out ask him to come stay with you for a while and take a break from where he is at. he might need some time away and let him know that it isnt a problem.
    elizabugsmommy

    Answer by elizabugsmommy at 11:11 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • I have no anwer for you, but I will bump your post. Good luck finding an answer, he sounds like he could use the help and you sound like a good sister.
    Georgie0502

    Answer by Georgie0502 at 11:11 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • thanks =) we are going to lunch wed. so hopefully I can get through to him!
    heidi1016

    Comment by heidi1016 (original poster) at 11:13 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Yeah, I would just offer it to him. Make sure he doesn't bring those troubles to your house though!
    ToriBabe1221

    Answer by ToriBabe1221 at 3:03 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I agree with the others I would simply offer him the opportunity. I'm not sure how close you are to your brother, but I've found that the really hard conversations with boys and men, tend to work better when they don't have to look at you. If you're picking him up, I'd also recommend on the drive home talking about how you know he is probably going through a hard time with his mom dying, and that sometimes people restort to other means to escape - like alcohol or drugs, and you want him to know he can come to you and find solace in your home. You don't have to tell him you know what's he's been up too, just tell him you're concerned and if he feels like going down that path that he can reach to you for help with better ways to cope. Maybe have this talk on the way home after telling him how much you enjoyed lunch and want to do it more often or something.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 4:55 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Ask him to move in with you. He needs stability and to be allowed to grieve his mother's passing. Experimenting is one thing but it can easily lead to addiction or abuse. Encourage him to see a counselor to help him grieve and deal with the depression without alcohol or illegal drugs. Show him that he is wanted and loved. Let him talk about his mom, help him to remember the good times.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:16 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • thanks everyone I will let u know how it goes:)
    heidi1016

    Comment by heidi1016 (original poster) at 12:00 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Teens (13-17)
Gifts?

Next question overall (Just for Fun)
Do you assume...