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9 Bumps

How would you handle this and what would you tell your children?

Neighbor's kids are same age as mine (6 & 4) For years, they used to have frequent playdates, planned and spontaneous, until this past year when my divorce began. Ever since, even if my kids ask her, directly, when they see her, she gives a sweet smile answering 'not today' or ''sorry they've been busy' and similar ... without the kids around, she says the 6 year old doesn't want to play with mine and "i can't make her". Seeing the 6yo's together would not give that impression. The 4yo's love playing together. Today, after she rejected my child, again, after giving her a birthday present no less, I said to her, "tell me what I'm supposed to tell my kids when they keep asking to play with yours?"
She told me I should "tell them to stop asking. it hasn't happened. it's not happening. explain to them it's rude to keep asking"
She's basically been a judgemental, 2-faced b*tch since my divorce began.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on Jul. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (20)
  • :( I"m sorry....I gave you a bump. All I can say is that's really sad that she's being like that, especially if the kids get along and they have a good time together.

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 12:08 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I guess try and explain to them that they need to make more friends but I am sorry that she is acting like that :(

    Answer by LiLJeni at 12:10 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Screw her and tell ur kids that hers are not worth their time, then put vaseline on her door knob and her car door handles.

    Answer by TexasPride85 at 12:10 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • what the hell? That is messed up~you are not asking her to go out and get drinks, just to have the kids have fun together...and a supportive family might offer to have the kids play together more during this time of stress~she scores in the "under developed" range of neighborhood skills~

    Answer by surfcitymom at 12:13 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • is she resentful cause your family is no longer a representation of what "should be" in her eyes? she may be afraid that her kids will gain the wrong idea of marriage. is she insecure in her own marriage?
    those are the questions that pop into my head! looks like she would be supportive since ya'll were supposed friends. maybe she is just in shock about your divorce and afraid of the influence over her family.

    Answer by Leezah at 12:15 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • wow...something is up her butt! It's sad that the kids need to suffer. Just be (somewhat) honest with your child saying that their mommy doesn't want to have playdates anymore-you aren't sure why-but that sometimes people in life are that way. It's nothing you did. We'll still be nice when we see her but we'll look for other, new friends.
    You can't explain it sometimes-I always tell my son that you don't have to like everyone but you have to be nice to everyone. This mom needs a lesson in that.

    Answer by connorsmom1970 at 12:16 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Aw, how unfortunate another mother would give you a cold shoulder when you really need things to stay as normal as possible for the kids.NOBODY needs to be treated that way! Hang in there, you're kids are probably better off not playing w/ her kids if she acts so cold anyways. Good luck w/ everything.....

    Answer by FLGNikki at 12:22 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I guess you have 2 options... you can try to talk to her again, see if you can smooth things over, see what she is so upset about.... or do what I would do and say SCREW OFF! LOL
    I think I would just explain to you kids that their mom doesn't want them to play anymore and you don't know why but that they shouldn't ask anymore and that if their mom changes their mind then they will play again then.

    Answer by AmiJanell at 12:36 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • It's a sad lesson a child should not have to learn so young but we all had to learn it at some point: friends come and friends go. I agree with some of the answers above about trying to be gently honest. Tell your kids it's a rough world and true friends are rare and very special and in order to have friends, just keep on being friendly! Good luck, and I'm so sorry for all you and your children are going through right now!!!

    Answer by Adelicious at 1:03 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • that's awful, sorry that's happening

    Answer by Katie80620 at 2:45 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

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