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why does my daughter come home from her dad's acting different?

she seems depressed and has a hard time following my rules. what do you think is going on over at her dad's house? is it just different parenting styles?

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Jen1o3

Asked by Jen1o3 at 12:52 AM on Jul. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • ummm.....do you not want her to?
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 12:52 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • get used to it... it gets worse the older they get. My theory on my situation is, there aren't any rules over there, and dd doesn't understand why she has to follow rules when she gets home.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 12:55 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • sorry it posted before i finished the question.
    Jen1o3

    Comment by Jen1o3 (original poster) at 12:55 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • yes probably different parenting styles. You might want to talk to him and want to talk to her as well. I don't want to start anything but do you think he might be saying bad things about you to her?
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 1:05 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • The answers here amuse me.... My step-kids' mom says they act dif when they get back from our house. We don't do anything weird here. We do have rules and do normal, routine family things. Sometimes the mom will call my husband screaming that we were doing something weird with bc the kids are acting depressed and bizarre.

    I am not really sure why they act dif. Being on this side, I think they miss their dad. And when he drops them off they know they won't see him for 2 more weeks so they get sad, sometimes cry, sometimes rebelious/disrespectful of mom. I think that missing dad combined with a change of routine is all. Even with rules, there are some variations between households and kids are effected by a change in routine. And don't forget about school... if the kids come back Sunday they get the "Monday's tomorrow blues" like everyone else.

    Don't be so quick to assme something is wrong at the dads.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 1:06 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • i know for a fact that he is talking bad about me. she came home this weekend and told me she over heard him talking to his wife. she said it hurt her feelings.
    Jen1o3

    Comment by Jen1o3 (original poster) at 1:10 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • really?! Well talk to her and re-assure her that your not the mean things he says. Let her know that he is entitled to his opinion but his opinion may not be fact. Also I would tak to him and let him know that those things are not ok and that if he wants to talk bad about you to atleast be considerate enough not to do it when your daughter is there. He should have the same respect you have for him and keep things between you away from her. It'll just make it harder on your daughter!
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 1:13 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • that is true i can assume that her dad is doing something wrong. i guess im just quick to judge because i hate him lol. it helps hearing from step-moms because i feel threatened by my ex's wife. you have helped me see that she might really love my daughter and do things with her. im just scared that when they have kids together that my kid is gonna get shafted. sorry to change the subject just you seem to have helpful answers.
    Jen1o3

    Comment by Jen1o3 (original poster) at 1:16 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • i try so hard not to talk crap about my ex. i try to actually up play him. i tell her all the time that her dad is wonderful and loves her a lot. if she is ever gonna have negative thoughts about him i want her to make up her own mind. i dont want to put the thoughts there. im not sure how to address the situation, do i just confront him?
    Jen1o3

    Comment by Jen1o3 (original poster) at 1:20 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Maybe she is very uncomfortable by the fact you guys arent together anymore. She is probably acting out how she feels through not following your rules.
    randerykah

    Answer by randerykah at 1:33 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

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