Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

is he gay?

my husband loves anal sex, i find it painfull and disgusting, we have been married for ten years and he has been begging me to try it, i let him do it once, i did not enjoy it at all, but he loved it.. he convinced me two other occasions and i made him swear that he wont ask for it again. well now he has started something new, he inserts a finger in my anus during intercorse, he has a had time coming if he doesnt do that! whats up with the anus obsession? does this make him gay? he actually likes it better back there than the normal way. this worries me a lot.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:23 AM on Jul. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • No it does not mean he's gay. It means he likes it in your butt because it's tighter than in your vaginal area. Men like it tight. That's why some prefer anal. ANd that's not a degrade to your woman-hood, it's just a fact. Now if HE wanted it up the ass I would say he is.

    Answer by GinNTonic at 4:25 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • its not that he is is a tighter opening and if he has a hard time finishing, then the tighter opening provides a different sensation... You need to talk to your husband about what you do and dont like and how you can both be satisfied without being uncomfortable. Good Luck. (:

    Answer by cjzmom at 4:27 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • gay means he is attracted to men. He just likes anal. Many men like anal. You need to talk to him about sex, he's having selfish sex right now and just pleasing himself, he needs to try to please you too. Maybe an example of a compromise would be he can get off first the way he likes to, with boundaries, you next, and then you 2 do it the way you like it. ???

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 4:35 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • No. He would be "gay" if he was attracted to men, sexually stimulated by men and only wanted to have sex with me. The thought of having sex with a woman would repulse him in many ways.

    Many men like anal sex because of the way it "feels". There is definite texture, tightness, ect.. in the vagina and the anus. Many men like anal sex for those reasons.
    Many men are drawn to and want anal sex because of the "taboo" associated with it. It's the thrill that adds to the pleasure.

    And of course there's always a 1001 other reasons, it just depends on the man.. lol

    He may cum quicker or easier due to YOUR reaction(s) to what he is doing, just as much as doing it or how it feels. Most men become even more aroused, stimulated due to the various reactions a woman gives off during the sexual experience. We all have our quirks. lol

    If you do not like this and he continue to do it. That's a RESPECT issue, not a sexuality one

    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:46 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Oh crap what a typo..

    I meant "Sex with men...."....Not "sex with me"... LMAO

    Answer by pixie_trix at 5:45 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • You're going to need to break it to him somewhat gently that the reason you don't enjoy it is because he isn't any damn good at it, probably because he's been watching porn, where the ladies have been taking it up the old chocolate whizway for so long that it's the size of the Holland Tunnel and the dude doesn't have to actually do any work to get the woman ready. So, you can choose to work with him on this, so both of you enjoy it, or you tell him No Chance Lance. It's up to you.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 7:34 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • All of the other ladies are right hun. I just thought I'd add that he shouldn't be doing anything to you that you don't like or want. Tell him how you feel and what you like and don't like during sex/foreplay. If he tries to stick anything in your anus after that, stop the sex/foreplay immediately, tell him that you have already told him numerous times that you do not like that, and walk away. He has no right to force what he wants upon you. I'm not sure how your husband is, but if he tries to make you feel guilty about this, don't let him. He wouldn't like things being shoved in his butt and you respect that, he can respect you too. When he does sexual things to you that you don't like or want, it is NEVER your fault, ever.


    Answer by -xoxo- at 8:12 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • No he's not gay. Not sure what the obsession with men and anal sex but they sure do like it. Not my thing but SO loves it. I told him I'll gladly stick something up his behind if he wants but I don't want anything up mine!

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:10 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • like everyone else says, he is not gay. Anal sex can actually be very enjoyable if done right. It's much tighter than the vagina & some men prefer how it feels. I am one of those women who really enjoys anal sex. We have special techniques that we use so that it feels good, in fact...i think it feels great. I always have a vibrator on my clitoris though, it makes me orgasm like crazy. If you would like some anal sex tips so that you can enjoy it & not hate it, let me know, PM me, I'll tell ya how it's done & your DH will LOVE YOU SO MUCH!


    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:23 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.