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2 Bumps

What should I do about my preganat 14 year old who is allowed to sleep in same bed as b/f at other g/mothers house

I will not allow any of the girls boyfriends to sleep over at my house. However, I have just found out that the other grandmother to be allows my pregnant daughter to sleep in the same bed as the boyfriend.

I understand Mikayla's need to be with her boyfriend allowing him to be a part of this pregnancy as possible, but I to have a responsibility as a parent to Mikayla.

Very concerned. The Father to be (Josh) is addicted to drugs. The Grandmother to be (who is only 30) has 3 younger children all of who are placed in care and I am absolutely terrified for this baby.

What to do..............

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Asked by Anne-Marie457 at 4:35 AM on Jul. 13, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 5 (73 Credits)
Answers (25)
  • Yikes. So sorry. Is therre any way you can put your foot down about the boyfriend? have you tried talking to the granmother? Sorry I can't help more than that.

    Answer by Hazelnutkin at 4:39 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • i think alowing your childs boyfriend to stay at your house gives you a sertain amount of controle to the situation. i know that this is not what you want to hear but at least your daughter would be in your house and if there was anything bad happening you would be able to sort it out. your daughter is already pregnant, really there is not much else that can happen now. by letting the boy stay over at yours lets him be apart of the pregnancy and you get to keep an eye on whats going on. in the end thats what your daughter wants and it sounds like she will end up staying over at the other house more and more. hope i have helped..

    Answer by kirsten21 at 4:43 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Ya momma there's not much more that can happen she is already preggo. I think having them stay at your home would be a better idea and you can know and see what's going on at all times. I know when I was 14 i had been with my HS sweetie (ASSHOLE) for a little over a year and when I was allowed to stay at his house i could sleep in his room. When he stayed at my house he slept upstairs on the couch. I think you should talk with the Grandmother to-be and the kids and really put everything out on the table. Your Little girl is gonna be a momma soon so she made a choice that she needs to grow up quicker then she wanted to. Take charge, you seem like the only one that has there head on straight right now. GL

    Answer by raemommy at 4:54 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I suppose what I am trying to do is stand by my morals particularly given that I have a 10 year daughter who I am trying set an example for in addition to three other children. I am scared that if I say yes to Mikayla then I would have to say yes to all of the kids and before you know it I will have one big gang bang happening here. Also believing yeh my daughter is pregnant but she is still only 14 and if she wasn't pregnant then this would not be happening. I feel I have made the right decision for my house but am confused as to whether I should express my concerns to the other g/mother to be.

    Comment by Anne-Marie457 (original poster) at 4:59 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • If it were me, I would not allow her to go over there. If he wants to be apart of the pregnancy then he needs to come to your home and abide by your rules, which include no sleeping in the same room. If he can't abide by that then he doesn't get as active of a role. You can tell his mom not to allow it until your blue in the face and she most likely still will allow it. 14 year olds pregnant or not don't need to be staying at eachothers houses for the most part anyways.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 6:45 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • i agree with kristen, but after baby if he is to sleep over your house id make him stay in the living room or in a guest bedroom

    Answer by MasonsMommyy at 6:53 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • file with the courts to not allow her there unless something changes, if the father to be is addicted to drugs i wouldnt even want him involved with the child thats soon to be here. that is just my opinion but i dont think your daughter should be around him, the more hormonal she gets while pregnant the more influential he can be to her, you risk her trying some of these drugs and hurting her child.

    Answer by Laura_Cruz at 8:10 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • What is going to happen to that baby? If he's addicted to drugs, and his mother is just a "flip-out", will your daughter come back home to live with you once the baby is born? Will you take the baby and care for it? Does he just want to "be a part" right now, because as long as he tells her that she'll stay at his mom's house and sleep with him? I'm so sorry that you're in this situation. She's a baby herself and now has to make life choices for a baby. It's so sad! I would make her come home, and tell this loser boy to fly a kite! She might hate you for it now, but in 10 years you'll be her hero!

    Answer by TimandMely4ever at 8:57 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I would not allow my minor child to be around this woman.
    Have you discussed adoption with the parents-to-be? How do they plan to complete their educations and support a child?

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:36 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Actually, I would file statuatory rape charges. A 14 year old should not be sexually active, let alone have a baby to take care of.

    This makes me so sad and angry. Why don't these children have dreams and ambitions? Why don't they want to go to a university? Backpack through Europe? Live in South America? Have adventures? Join the Peace Corp? I just don't understand...

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:39 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

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