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Do not know if there any older moms with grown children, how to let go????

I have a 21 old son and he comes to me for everything. He does not live at home but everytime his truck breaks, he calls, he needs money, he calls, he needs a ride, he calls, he needs new clothes, he calls, he is hungry, he calls. Does it ever stop? I have given my last penny to him instead of helping my husband. I have to let hims grow up and quit babying him.....

What do you suggest????

Answer Question
 
juju0707

Asked by juju0707 at 10:22 AM on Jul. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 8 (266 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Tell him to join the service. They can be his momma he'll come home a grown man I know my 2 did
    shedevil59

    Answer by shedevil59 at 10:35 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Sorry, no great answer here as I am freaking out that both my babies are in middle school now and I know they are growing up to leave me so I'm frown minithat I will be dealing with the empty nest thing soon enough. However you could try saying NO or you could help him learn to budget better, to save for a rainy day and maybe how to grocery shop on the cheap ya know learn to live within your means kinda thing. Good Luck Momma!!!

    mom2priceboys

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 10:41 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I would tell him I would help him fix his vehicle, as long as it was transportation to get to and from work. I would not "give him a ride" to go see friends or something like that. I would make sure he had food, but beyond that clothes, etc, I would tell him he was a grown man, with responsibilities. If he was in a tight spot I would help him out, but he was supposed to be his source of income now. And, a tight spot would not mean a new pair of jeans.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 10:45 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • It stops. When you stop. Really. He will continue to come to mom for every little thing, as long as mom takes care of those things for him.

    In order for our children to grow up and be self sufficient we have to allow them to do so.

    It's hard. I know. No one likes to see their kids have a tough time. But, at some point, they do need to learn how to handle those tought times on their own and to the best of their ability.

    I have always told me son, " You NEED to know who to do__ or handle___ (fill in the blanks) on your own because mom isn't always going to be around to do it for you, or be in a position to do it for you."

    In order for him to learn to live as a grown man. You need to let go and let him be a grown man. Which means: allowing him to fall down and pick himself back up, allowing him to figure out solutions to his own problems, and letting him live with the consequences/reprecussions of his own choices.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 10:56 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • It never stops mom, you do not stop being a parent because they are of legal age! My grown kids do this when they find they need help, who better than you to lend a helping hand, if you are not going to do it out of the goodness of your heart, then stop doing it, but for me it is a blessing that I am still around and able to help anyway I can.
    older

    Answer by older at 12:46 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

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