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How do you let go? [kinda long]

Ok, you'll need a little background: I'm 20 years old, have a 2year old son with my fiance (we've been together for 4 yrs) and have lived in a tiny town in NYS for 9 yrs.

My fiance wants to move to North Carolina. I love it down there, it's beautiful and there are tons more opportunities than there are where I am [there's a VERY limited job market around here]. His best friend [our son's godfather] moved there with his wife 5 years ago and described it as happily ever after.

My only issue is that I'm extremely close with my family. My dad is older [62] and is VERY close to my son. My son adores him and my dad is the same. My dad and I are also very close, I don't live at home but I talk to him everyday and see him at least twice a week. While I'd love to move [you really have no idea how bad this town sucks], I don't think I could leave my family! I hear about people doing it all the time but how do you let go?

Answer Question
 
AidensMommy608

Asked by AidensMommy608 at 10:43 AM on Jul. 13, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 6 (140 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I don't want to deprive my son of his grandparents (Plus he's the first grandchild in my family) and I don't want to deprive my parents of their grandson. My dad is retired and my mom works per diem for a hospital but they want to stay where they are. It's like such a tug-of-war on my heart
    AidensMommy608

    Comment by AidensMommy608 (original poster) at 10:44 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I have no idea.. I live 20 min from my parents and can't imagine moving away
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 10:45 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I live 10 hours away from my parents, and it's not easy, especially when something happens there, like one of them gets sick or something else goes wrong with my family. I don't know what to tell you except you just take one day at a time and use the phone a lot!!
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 10:46 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • You can't really let go of your family. I lived in CA my whole life all my family was there. My hubby wanted to move to CO (where I live now) cause his whole family is here. I did but I missed my mom and brother and nephew so so so so much. To make it worse I got preggo for the first time right after I moved so my family only got to see me preggo once when I went to visit at 5 months. When my son was born none of my family was there. That was hard. There is nothing like family. My mom finally moved here.
    ktinaza

    Answer by ktinaza at 10:47 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I don't know what to tell you, I am extremely close to my parents. I do know my sister said you just have to take it one day at a time and call home a lot, plus plan to visit whenever possible. Good luck!
    BusyBeesmom

    Answer by BusyBeesmom at 10:49 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I know this is a very hard situation for some people. When I was almost 18 years old I joined the U.S. Marine Corps ~ went to boot camp for 13 weeks, school for another 3-4 months, and then for a year tour in Okinawa, Japan. It took a little getting used to ~ but I got used to it quickly. I am sure that if you talk to your Mom & Dad about your feelings they will (or should) encourage you to do what is best for your family. You parents are retired ~ they can come for visits. With the internet and internet phones, not to mention skype, you all can keep in touch on a daily basis. Where is NYS (I keep thinking NY suburbs...lol...but that can't be right!)? I think it is great that you are close to your parents, but there comes a time in everyone's life that they have to move on and be independent and do what is right for their own family! I wish you luck in your endeavor.
    7blessings

    Answer by 7blessings at 10:57 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I never had any trouble letting go. I am such a free spirit that i just had to go experience the world outside my home town. I love my parents very much, but i was bored. I had to move on. You will still see your parents, dont worry!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:57 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • take them with you =) lol you have to remember that you cant wait til your family dies or moves for you to move. its your life, make yourself happy. get a big house and have them come visit
    xmama_bellax

    Answer by xmama_bellax at 11:01 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • OP here- I live in Western NY...south of Buffalo near PA...and the target is in Western NC near Charlotte. I dearly miss the city (grew up in Buffalo). I wish I could take them with me...My mom would love to move down south, she hates winter but I just don't think they'd go for it. Plus my dad has been known to pull a "guilt-trip" thing so I can just see it being that much harder. Thanks for everyone's advice...I guess the bottom line is just to put on the big girl panties and do it?
    AidensMommy608

    Comment by AidensMommy608 (original poster) at 11:04 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I never had trouble letting go. I've always just pursued my own life. I left home by 18, spent sometime in college, spent a stint in the peace corps, more time in college. I've travelled all over and never been back home. I'm 46 years old and I have only been back home to visit family 4 times since I was 18. My family knows that I love them. They know I'm just a phone call away. And yes they miss me as much as I miss them. However, they as well as I, understand that I have my own life to live. And my life just has carried me to other places. That's all. My mom and I talk a couple times a week, sometimes more depending on what's going on.

    Just because you move away. That doesn't mean that you have to lose your relationship with your dad. You can still talk to him everyday, that doesn't have to change. It will just be in a different manner. And your son can still talk to him everyday.Location shouldn't really matter.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 11:08 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

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