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3 Bumps

tell me if I'm right or wrong to have these feelings

My bf and I have been together for 6 years, I want to marry he has lame ass excuses of why he does not want to. well I have heard those excuses for 4 years now and Im tired of waiting, I give give give in the relationship and he takes takes takes. I am at the point where I'm done waiting I told him last night he got pissed and went to sleep on the floor what do I do or say to him?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Jul. 13, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You can't make someone do what they refuse to do - especially when it comes to marriage. And in my opinion, it is better if the guy really wants to get married and isn't being pressured. You've said your piece and you are at an impasse. Maybe it's time to pack up and move apart. You aren't getting something out of this relationship that you really need and something needs to be done or you will spend another 6 years in the same spot.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 12:50 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • He should marry you and if he doesn't then he is scared of something and he not telling you why so ask him why he is scared and if he answerd you then you will have your answer... then you have decided weather you want to stay or go no can make that move for you.
    jedistar

    Answer by jedistar at 11:59 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • My suggestion to you is that you need to decide what YOU want and what YOU want to do!!! If you really want to get married and you're really fed up with waiting and you're tired of his reactions/responses you'd actually do something about it. You need to decide wether or not you're willing to walk away from him if he is trully dead set against marriage, see if he wants to get married in the near future; and if your willing to wait until he is, deciding to put your happiness and wants and desires before his for a change; because ultimately we can not make a man do what he does NOT want to do!!! GL and BW
    ladyd6280

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 12:04 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • maybe you should ask why he does not want to marry? I think he might have his reasons if you are ready to be married and he is not maybe this is his way of saying it. I think if I was you I would sit down and have a hard discussion where you ask one question and that should be are we going to get married? You will have to prepare for the truth and in the end if he says no you are going to have to decide where you are going and where you see yourself in five years. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:02 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I am no expert when it comes to relationships. But after being with one bf for six years, there has to be some chemistry between you and a relationship will stagnate if it shows no signs of moving forward. You have spent a good amount of time with this individual and I really don't think it's unreasonable of you to expect him to answer your question in an honest way. I would say give him a cooling off period to allow it to sink in all you have confronted him about, but I don't know this bf well enough.
    CafeMochaMom1

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 12:05 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Apparently this guy has issues about commitment you need to address, you have waited to long for the answer to this question and you have every right to know where you stand. Communication is key so you can deal with whaever comes your way, or else you will be waiting in limbo all your life!
    older

    Answer by older at 12:06 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Decide what you want and then talk with him about his wants. Find common ground andb if no compromise can be reached then move on.
    Chipmunk2771

    Answer by Chipmunk2771 at 1:06 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • When people tell us who they are and what they want or don't want, we should believe them. He doesn't want to marry you. You say he take take takes while you give give give. Why would YOU want to marry him? That's not a healthy relationship anyway.

    Your feelings are your feelings. There is no right or wrong with that. If you feel like the relationship is inequitable then you either need to take steps to remedy that or you need to end the relationship. The only person you have control over is you. So it's up to you take action or to take it as it is. For whatever reason, he is not ready or willing to get married. If you love him and care about him, you'd respect that--not pressure him. You think they're BS reasons..and maybe they are. But the bottom line is that he doesn't want to get married.

    Knowing that, you have sufficient information to make a decision that best suits you.

    BuddyRoo

    Answer by BuddyRoo at 1:27 PM on Jul. 13, 2010