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hubby wants more kids i do not..

im pregnant with number 2 in 2 yrs and i DONT want a 3rd it was a lot of convincing to have a 2nd to start with, but i was thinking of getting the ESSURE done and just not tell him, cause he gets so mad at me when i say no more and storms out refuses to listen that its my body and im done, so should i just go ahead and do it anyways?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Jul. 13, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (11)
  • You absolutely do have a say and he needs to understand and respect that. Why on earth would he want to create another child if he has coerced you into it? A child should be wanted 100% buy BOTH parents.

    Answer by KTMOM at 11:55 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • What is with all the selfish men on here?!?

    Answer by Sara.Robyson at 11:55 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I think it would be very unwise to do this without your husband's knowledge. It could very well end up costing you your marriage. These are the kinds of things that are best decided together, and given some time, he may come to agree with you. Or who knows, you might even change your mind and agree with him? I definitely think it would be a huge mistake to just "get 'er done."

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:56 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • it is your body. what is essure anyway? if you dont want another child dont have one. but i dont know about being decieving wiht your husband, if he did find out it could damage trust for a long time.

    Answer by cassie_m at 11:57 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • He should understand how you feel but I wouldn't do it without telling him.

    Answer by Cassandre at 11:58 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I agree that it would not be wise to do this behind his back but you totally have the right to say no more kids. Give it some time. It's hard to talk to someone who stomps out of a room. Let the situation cool down and leave it alone for a while. The last thing you need to be doing while you're pregnant is fighting anyway.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 12:00 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • YES, if he won't listen I would write it too him, or leave a vm. If you know for a fact you don't want anymore. then don't have anymore.

    So many kids are in this world unwanted, and your husband has to understand that you don't want no more.

    Just say no, and if he gets mad let him. He will have to get over it. Do what is right for you. If your husband loves you enough, he won't go anywhere.


    Answer by KFree907 at 12:05 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I wouldn't go as far as getting the essure procedure done without consulting your SO, but I would consider getting an IUD. That way you could prevent pregnancy for up to 5 years, and in the mean time convince him that getting fixed would be best for you guys - or who knows, maybe one day you'll end up wanting another child. It's a big deal to have a permanent change like that without him agreeing, so just give it some time, maybe he'll change his mind after he sees how much harder having 2 kids is! Good luck mama!

    Answer by mommymela87 at 12:11 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • IMHO, doing something like this without letting him be a part of the decision isn't really that different from him swapping out BC pills for placebos and poking holes in condoms (except that one way, you get a baby). If you are going to do it, just tell him and work through the issue in your marriage directly rather than letting him live the lie of someday having more.

    Answer by tyheamma at 1:37 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I wouldn't do it without telling him I think that will cause major problems. You two just need to keep talking about it.

    Answer by Dodie702 at 1:55 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

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