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Is it possible to find the balance? Question for pagans....

I am a pagan soon-to-be mom. My BF is an agnostic from a Christian family. His first two children have begun attending church with their mother and attempt to teach us what they have learned. I am not sure how to tell the children that my beliefs are not the same as what they are being taught without sounding harsh. I do not want my daughter force-fed Christianity (as I was), but instead wish her to find her own path. Is that possible in this type of situation?

Answer Question

Asked by sandra.g.h at 12:08 PM on Jul. 13, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Of course. You don't have to tell them anything really about your religion. I would only tell them if they ask. You can just say that lots of people belong to different religions & they are all wonderful religions even though they are different. I would let them preach to me if they felt like it & i would ask them questions about it too. I would just keep reiterating that Christianity is not the only religion out there & that there are plenty of beautiful beliefs in this beautiful world. If they try to tell you that you are going to hell (hopefully they wont) just gently explain to them that you don't believe in that & that many people don't believe in that. You could also just tell them that you choose to believe in something else, although you respect their religion & think it's beautiful. You don't have to sound harsh. I would sound understanding to them, but just tell them that i am different & believe in different things.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:15 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Sure! You just say something along the lines of "Hey, guys, I know you're really excited about what you learned in church. We don't believe the same things that you believe, though, and it's important that you understand that there are many, many different religions in the world. I want to hear about what you learned in church, but because the baby is so little, and has to find her own path in life, please don't talk about it with her."

    You would change the wording based on the kids' ages :)

    Hope that helps!

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:17 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Ati 13 you got that right. I think those words or that context is the right way to go. I was raised Catholic and started to raise my children in the church, however as time went on my views have changed and I've changed the course of my spirituality. My older son knows this we have many indepth conversations about my beliefs and why, yet my son choice to continue the path of the Catholic church and went through his confirmation. My younger son is definitely not a church goer has no interest because its boring. He believes in God as well, but has no desire to practice at his age, and I'm okay with that. As they get older I'm sure they will find their own belief.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 1:27 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • My Mother & Grandmother are JWs, My DH and his family are "Christian" and I'm Pagan. My children are not being "taught" religion. It was something I made VERY clear early on that I didn't want. I spoke with both my DH and my family and explained that because of the difference in beliefs on all sides that I didn't feel teaching any would be fair to the others. In stead what we are doing is simply giving them a basis by reading them Myths from all paths... Christian, Pagan & anything else we can find... We are finding childrens versions and reading them just as we would any other books. This way when they DO get to the point where they are ready to start looking they have a basic understanding of the beliefs and traditions of a wide variety of paths. We are also having "religionless" holidays - where we simply focus on the secular aspects as far as the kids go. Again, this helps us to keep them neutral.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 3:08 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

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