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Tough one.....

Okay, so I have a VERY serious question and I would like to ask for some advice. NOT BASHING or BELITTLING please. I am hard enough on myself. Here is the issue. My hubby and I have 8 children. We both planned on being fixed in the near future (our youngest is 7 moths)and in the meantime have been practicing safe sex. I am a full time nursing student, he is a foreman at a local factory. We get by, but it is not easy. Our children are well cared for, we are good parents, and we thank god everyday for blessing us with such a beautiful family. Okay I need some advice. Just found out I am pregnant. Not planned, and I feel very confused. I DONT believe in abortion, but I have found myself considering it even though I don't believe I would actually ever go through with it. I don't know what to do. What are your thoughts on abortion? What are your thoughts on bringing another child into an already "tight" situation? NO BASHING PLZ!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Jul. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • NO ABORTION!!! If you don't want the baby--put it up for adoption. There are several families out there that would love to have a baby to cherish.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 12:14 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Going to school with 8 children? God bless you! You should be proud of yourself. Abortion is such a personal decision. It can leave you with a lot of guilt, but I can see why you are thinking about it. I think you anwered your own question when you say you don't believe you would actually ever go through with it. You can talk to a counselor at planned parenthood or get some referrals at your local hospital. Get all the family support you can and one of you should act fast on "being fixed". Know that what ever you decide you made the best decision for yourself, your husband, and your family at the time. Best wishes.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 12:20 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • nicely said elizabr!
    rileymommy

    Answer by rileymommy at 12:27 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I have some advice because I have been in a similar situation...when my oldest was 3 and youngest was 6 months, I found out I was pregnant by my new boyfriend (I split with my abusive husband during the last pregnancy). I felt trapped and ashamed and knew my family, my ex's family and friends would be so disappointed and probably talk crap about me. I let what other people would think make my decision for me, and had an abortion. I still regret it. I was always pro-life and then I went and did it myself. I think for people who have grown up being against it, if you go through with it, it comes with a lot of guilt and sadness and regret. I guess everyone is different so you could feel differently, but that's how I felt. And still feel. Although I was not ready for another child, I wish I would have put aside what other people would think and given my baby up for adoption. Any decision you make will difficult. <3
    mommymela87

    Answer by mommymela87 at 12:29 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Don't get an abortion. With 8 children that you adore, I would think you'd have a hard time living with that decision. You would always be missing someone. It's normal for you to be having these feelings, I think many moms go through it - I did.
    mpeada

    Answer by mpeada at 12:50 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I can understand why you would be considering it....but it isnt' an easy decision. You may be able to go through the motions of having it done but once the reality hits you, there is no turning back.
    I feel every woman, every person, every family has the right to choose to do what they feel they should do.
    I can't tell you what you shuld or shouldnt do..the answer doesnt even come to my mind. But I can tell you what I would do if it were me in your circumstance.
    I would think that since I had been practicing safe sex, that this baby beat the odds..and God must have a purpose for this little one to be in our lives.I would cry, I would throw my fit, I would ask why and then I would carry on with life. Have the newest bundle, have the vasectomy done.And go from there.Sometimes life hands us the unexpected.Don't know why.Just know I roll with it.Good Luck to you and your family.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 12:55 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Adoption is a tough way to go too. I couldn't live with myself putting one child up for adoption when I had so many others. Guilt.....and when that child found out how would I explain it? Then counseling for all? It also is a most personal decision. Muster up all the support from family, friends, and a church family you can (and even the older children) to get through this. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I see the questions about abortion here often, I think you will get 50/50 those who say no/yes and everyone has their legitimate and valid reasons as to why they feel the way they do. I think abortion is a personal decision, but in my own opinion it's not right, though I believe that a woman has a choice if I were in that position I could not see myself going through with it, not to say that I've never thought about it. I did, with my last pregnancy it was unplanned, both hubby and I were unemployed, how was I supposed to take care of this child with both of us on unemployment? I gather myself and got that thought out of my mind. Best advice I can give is to communicate with your DH, talk it out, he needs to be a part of whatever decision you make as it will affect both of you. I know another baby will make things hard but look how far you've come with 8 kids, you are a supermom in my eyes! GL

    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 1:23 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

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