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Would this make you mad?

I took my son to the orthodontist yesterday (he is 10) and they found that a bracket was missing. When i asked what happened to it, he told me on his last visit with his Dad, they were eating Laffy Taffy (which his Dad knows he can't have because of braces) and it pulled one of them off. I asked him why he had not told me or his Dad, he said he told his Dad, who responded, "This never happened! Do not say a word!" and threw the taffy and the bracket away.
My problem is this, I paid for the braces, pay for all visits & checkups, and take him to all visits and checkups. I have a problem not only with him doing that, but telling my son he cannot tell me something in general. Do you all think I should be angry with my ex about this? Would I be out of line to call him and ask why the hell he would tell our son that?


Asked by mommy11260 at 1:25 PM on Jul. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (11)
  • He was way out of line. I think that I would contact him. Think about what you plan to say, though, and say it in a calm voice. Tell him that you just discovered the taffy incident but what bothers you more than anything is the message that the child should hide something this important from not just you in this instance, but in general- that it would be wrong of you to say to the child let's hide this from your father.

    Answer by Bmat at 1:28 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Oh hell yes I would be mad!! And I would definitely call him too and let him know I was mad! Does he pay child support?

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:28 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • oh absolutely. i'd freakk out.

    Answer by aliciamarie1012 at 1:29 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Yes, you have a right to be really angry. I assume you have talked to your son and made it clear this cannot happen again and that it was the wrong thing to do. Personally, I would call the father and talk it over with him. If you can stay calm simply say that this was inappropriate and absolutely the wrong thing to be teaching your child. If you can keep the conversation away from accusations you'll be better off, I think.

    Answer by elizabr at 1:31 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Hunnie.. GET MAD.. That is not only rude to you but its also not right to teach your son thats its ok to with hold the truth.. I cant imagin how you feel right now.. If you pay the bills, and take care of all of it then its not for him to say whats ok or not.. Thats all you babe.. call him and give him a piece of your mind..

    Answer by DawnaLynae at 1:34 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Oh hell! I would be LIVID! You have every right to call him and demand an explanation.

    Answer by renea20 at 1:35 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • VERY VERY MAD--Scary mad!!!

    Answer by blue_glass_mama at 1:35 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Yea, I would be upset because he's not only keeping stuff from you, but also putting the child in the middle. I would calmly ask the ex. to let you know next time something like this happens and not offer your son food that might break his braces. Yelling at him will just come back at you negatively. Show you're a better person and don't stoop that level he's trying to pull you down to with this behavior.

    Answer by cwahmommie at 4:06 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Rule number one with my kids...whenever anyone asks or tells you not to tell...that is the first indication you SHOULD tell! I would be pissed, but I doubt I would say anything, he sounds like a douche who won't care anyway. Talk to the boy, he is 10 and knows better, next time he had better make a better choice, or I take the money out of his allowance.

    Answer by salexander at 4:18 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • No. He does not pay any support, as a matter of fact we are due to go to court over that soon. My thing was though, I told our son, no grown up should be asking him to keep secrets! He is 10! I don't want him to ever think it is "okay" to keep a secret like that from me. And, I told him, I will never (and have never) ask you to keep a secret about anything. IF it happens here, and you want to tell it, Tell it! I have nothing to hide!

    Comment by mommy11260 (original poster) at 1:32 PM on Jul. 13, 2010