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what do you do when u find out your partner is looking at porn??

We just got the internet a few weeks ago and I never thought this would ever be an issue with us, but on the history of sites visited I found he has been looking at porn!!!! I hate that so bad!! But at first when I talked to him on the phone I was so mad that I didnt give him enough time to come up with something so he just said I didnt look at it so I hung up.
Next day when I bring it up he said it just popped up when he was looking up something and he got stuck, the computer started to freeze up lol such a lie, you have to have visited porn before for it to start popping up! He still lies! On 1 of the sites he looked up it says at the top of the page girls to F*** in. with the nam of our city and state.... What should I think there?? What should I do he still lies about it?
I go to bed at like 10pm with the baby and I'm 5 months pregnant and he stays up til 2am looking at porn!! I'm emotional and so hurt n unattractive!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Jul. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (27)
  • I would watch it with him, honestly ;)

    Answer by MommyH2 at 1:29 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • No offense, that sounds like a personal issue. Not a porn issue.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 1:32 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Oh no you beat me to the answer MommyH2 : )

    Answer by Savymom25 at 1:32 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Oh hunni.. A lot of ppl say looking at porn is normal, but it would hurt my feelings too! I would freak the hell out on him! My guy now doesn't look at porn or watch it.. or anything like that so it would be a big surprise to me if I found out that he did.. As far as the site with your city and state on it..uh..that spells out CHEATER to me.. I mean if he was just looking at general I could possibly get over it..but to be searching for local girls..HELL NO!! & don't feel unattractive--its not your fault he's disgusting.. I'm sure you are very beautiful woman!♥

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:32 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Those sites honestly do pop up out of nowhere. I've gone to completely regular sites and had those sites pop up. I am a single mom, my kids are 3.5 years old and 11 months old and neither of them know how to use the computer nor would they know to look up porn.
    So there is a chance he's telling the truth.

    However if he's not telling the truth, I'd be more upset about him lying than about him looking at porn. Men look at porn, it's what they do. It's not anything personal against you, it's just something they do. He probably lied because he could tell you were already upset and didn't want it to escalate.

    Talk about it with him calmly. Tell him why you don't like it and how it makes you feel, but you also have to hear him out in return.

    Answer by Laila-May at 1:32 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • My husband was doing this for a while and what hurt me the most was that he has tested for low testosterone and we have vastly different sex drives. The women he was looking at were total opposites of me even....small breasted, very thin, I confronted him and said if that's what turns you on why on earth did you marry me all curves and breasts?! I told him it hurt me he claimed he just wasn't sexual because obviously he was getting something looking at these sites. The name of your city and state probably was not real it's just the site trying to make it more appealing based on a cookie your computer sent the server with your location. I get that crap on the side on some websites I visit for celebrity gossip. I think you have to bring it up again and say you it bothers you. It doesn't mean he's cheating on your or wanting to, but it does indicate something he wants he doesn't want to ask for from you.

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 1:32 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I would watch it with him, and enjoy what it would lead to afterward :)
    A man watching porn in my house doesnt bother me, as long as they go nowhere else for nothing else, its all good.

    Answer by dakajazz23 at 1:33 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Those sites with the city and state are the same for everywhere. It's the same girls doing the same things but the internet uses your IP address to put your location up there.
    That is NOT him cheating. Don't make a non-issue into an issue. When you act before thinking it could spiral out of control. Really, really think about it.

    Answer by Laila-May at 1:34 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • i think i would just be happy he's looking at girls he obviously won't be able to go out and hurt you with, then going out and hurting you with women he could be doing something with. men are facinated with looking at it, i know it hurts me, especially now, cause i'm pregnant when my boyfriend is always looking at it but i think i'd rather him look at these girls that i know he can't touch then go out looking or doing things with girls he could be touching. you just got to think of it that porn is out there, and whether we want them to look at it or not, they are going to.. their men and its a part of their nature. but just be happy that in the morning and when he goes to sleep at night hes laying down next to you and hes not out doing something far worse then looking at discusting girls online :) and i agree with the girl that commented on this before me, maybe you could try looking at it with him ;)

    Answer by aliciamarie1012 at 1:34 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I agree with MommyH2. There is nothing wrong with watching porn and unfortunately us woman make our men feel bad about it. Have you tried to figure out what type of porn he likes? It must be something that turns him on. You can soooo get involved. If he is watching porn with school girls, I would dress up in a school uniform with pig tails and role play.

    And the part about "page girls to F*** in. with the nam of our city and state", it is on most porn sites. It the company's way of making the clients feel that these girls are obtainable. I wouldn't worry about it.

    Answer by CandiGram at 1:35 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

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