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How soon is too soon for your new BF to sleep over (with the kids in the house) after a divorce?

My children are 2 and 7 years old.

Answer Question

Asked by CandiGram at 1:30 PM on Jul. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 6 (112 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • IDK...would depend on the the kids have any contact with their dad?

    Answer by MommyH2 at 1:31 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I (personally) would have trouble "trusting" a new guy or most guys around my children but that's just my personal opinion...

    Answer by hotrodmomma at 1:32 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • it safe.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Depends really.. The guy I got with after the breakup with my kids dad was around before my kids were even born and has been around (my brothers best friend).. so they know him! I already trusted him with my girls so I wasn't worried about anything and he started sleeping over maybe after like 2 months or so..

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:33 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I would make sure this was something serious and long term before even letting the kids meet him as your boyfriend. You don't want them to get attached and then something happen.Just take things slow and make sure you are totally comfortable with him being around your kids for extended periods of time

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 1:34 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • When I knew he was in it for the long haul.

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 1:38 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Unless your state has a morality clause (some do), then whenever you feel like. HOWEVER, I would be exceedingly careful, and at a minimum do a criminal background check- this IS something their father can use against you, if he can even instill a doubt that you have put them in harms way.

    My so and I moved in together the same month that my divorce was finalized, and with my ex's knowledge. I've known my SO since I was 11, and there are no trust barriers, my children know and love him like they would their own father. He's been a part of my life for much, much longer than their sperm donors have been.
    It's up to you, and what you feel comfortable with.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 1:38 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I wouldnt let the kids even meet a new bf until a really good amount of time went by, and you knew that you could trust him. I was in the same position many years ago, and was paranoid about my kids getting attached to someone who wasnt going to end up working out. I was glad that I did, because in the end, that relationship didnt end up working out.

    Answer by dakajazz23 at 1:39 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Dad lives in another state. BF has full custody of his own child. It is a serious relationship and we have all spent long periods of time together. I trust him completely. When he stays over, currently, the kids are away either with their dad or another family members house. We waited until we knew that the relationship was heading towards "happily ever after" before we introduced the other to the children.

    Comment by CandiGram (original poster) at 1:42 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I wouldn't have him stay over until I knew for sure he wasn't leaving. I wouldn't want my children to get attached to a man who is going to leave.

    Answer by toykeymama at 1:45 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

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