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2 Bumps

My husband is in Iraq. Since he left my kids have made new friends.

My daughter has stayed the night at two other houses and my son at one. Today I told my husband that our son had a play date with a friend and he said that for future reference he wants to meet the parents of their friends first. He is in Iraq so am supposed to not let them go anywhere til' he gets back and why all of a sudden would he say this when they have done it before over the past year? Also, shouldn't he trust my judgement? I trust his.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Jul. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • He might just be worried about the fact that he's not there to protect you guys and be overreacting.
    yezay

    Answer by yezay at 2:01 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Sounds like maybe he just feels very out of control being so far away, and even though this sounds unreasonable, maybe he's just trying to maintain his position of head of household even though it's virtually impossible from way over there. I'm sure he trusts your judgement, he probably just wishes he more of a say in the everyday stuff and having a hard time dealing with it.
    AshleyBDG

    Answer by AshleyBDG at 2:03 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Reassure him that you've met their parents and that everything is fine. You are their mother, it's built in you to protect your children. He's far away, in a scary place and isn't there with you to protect your children. That's probably very difficult for him.
    Try and be understanding but also don't let his worries prevent your kids from having friends. If you see nothing wrong with these friends and their parents then that should be good enough.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 2:03 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I agree with the pp's. My husband is in Afghanistan right now, and I too get frustrated when it seems he's barking orders from the other side of the world. I picture myself in his shoes and understand how helpless he must be feeling over there. It's normal to worry about your children sleeping in a place in which you've never met the parents. I'm sure he does trust your judgement, but he just wants to feel that he is still playing an important role in your childrens' lives. I suggest maybe having the friends' parents send him an email introducing themselves so that they can get somewhat aquainted and your husband will feel more included and at ease.
    nicolemstacy

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 2:57 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I imagine being overseas he probably feels 'left out of the loop' with things going on at home, so his saying that to you might just be his way of trying to assert some input in the kids everyday lives and feel like he still has some say in what is going on. I don't think he meant it as a criticism or to feel like he does not trust your instincts about the parents. Maybe you could find out more about the parents and then talk to him about them, or as another mom suggested maybe have him email the parents. Maybe after he gets home you could have a welcome home party and invite the parents so he can meet them.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 4:11 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I think he's probably over reacting a bit.
    best to you and to your husband's safety
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 5:57 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

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