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Asking this question here could be considered biast....

So, my DH and I constantly have this disagreement. Long story short, he makes my salary x's 3 and feels he shouldn't have to do housework and help take care of his daughter, that I should make up for it by picking up his slack. And I work 40 hrs/wk. So, he wanted me to make a chart (daycare, maid, cook, plus my real job - you get the point) and list all the things I do, with the pay (that is fair). Done my research and salary with my real working salary comes to 219,320/yr.

His argument is that I need to factor in that I have to sleep and relax time. Which seems legitimate. But, I argue, I'm always on call. I believe a mother's work never goes unattended. But, maybe I can see someone else's POV....

Thanks Momma's :)

Answer Question

Asked by Chloesmom1126 at 4:01 PM on Jul. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,269 Credits)
Answers (27)
  • i think you need to find a different way to handle your home. it's not all about money.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 4:04 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • You made your DD together, so it doesn't matter how much someone pulls in....your even working as well! You both should contribute to financial and the emotional well being of your child.

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 4:05 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • sweepingI don't think the difference in income should matter at all. Afterall, if you were a nanny for some wealthy family, you'd get payed more than if you were a babysitter, but you'd be doing the same job. I think you both work hard and if he wants to get nit-picky, than the hours should count, not the income. He's privileged to have a higher income and be able to provide more financially, but that doesn't mean he works harder at it, and he should be available to his kids and to you no matter what he's making. Give him a kick in the butt for me, ok? :)


    Answer by Adelicious at 4:06 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Sounds like a fun arguement :)
    Invite a bunch of stay at home moms to your house for some coctails.
    Then have your hubby join...make it a suprise.
    Allow him to be enlightened of all the work a stay at home mom does and how much should be charged...
    Then add your job outside of the home on top of that.
    I can guarantee that you will make HIS salary x4
    SO HE better get a 2nd job to be able to afford to pay YOU. :)

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 4:06 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Why don;t you hire a housekeeper? You are certainly pulling in enough money to afford one!

    We have a housekeeper that comes in once a week. It's not that expensive. :o)

    Answer by LoriKeet at 4:07 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I think your "dear husband" seems very selfish. They are his kids too. And he eats too and lives in the house too. You shouldn't have to do everything! Like the above answer said. Money is NOT everything.

    Answer by Brandi300 at 4:07 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Honestly.

    All of that sounds petty, too much tit for tat, and passive aggressive for me personally. My marriage would never be able to run that way.

    IF you are happy with it this way. Then okay.. If you are not. Why play this game? Money isn't everything that keeps a family/marriage/household going. Regardless of what's on each other's paystub, you both bring things to the table and both should be respected and appreciated for what all you do and bring into your marriage/family/relationship. Not just the amount of money you bring.

    In my home. Especially when we were both working: Household chores were both of our responsiblity. It is "our" home, therefore it is "Our' responsiblity.. Our son is "ours'. Therefore he was OUR responsiblity.

    All parents are always on call. Mother -father doesn't matter. All parents parental responsiblities do not stop or have a time clock. Again that's mother & father.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:08 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • when someone is on call for a job it's factored in -

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 4:10 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • I try to tell him that money should matter, period. I work the same amount of hours a week as he does (that pays).

    He just refuses to do house work and help me with our 1 year old daughter.

    Comment by Chloesmom1126 (original poster) at 4:11 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • you both work, you both take care of the home. It's that simple. Money doesn't factor in.

    Answer by lovinangels at 4:11 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

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