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my mom is convinced my boyfriend is cheating but i have no proof. what kind of things should i be looking for?

she is always asking me if i think he is cheating on me bc he is gone frequently, and will often say he will be home around one time and show up 2 or 3 hours later. he has to visit his "friends" at least 3 maybe 4 times a week. he has been gone for hours for the past 4 days straight, thursday he went to a friends recording studio at 5pm n came in at 5 am, sat night he went to a club n came n at 5am, sunday he had to visit a friend for 2 hours before he came home after work, monday he had to see the same friend again for 2 more hours after work, then today i was gone shopping with my mom and he called at 2:30 saying he was about to go home. i got home before 5 and he came home at 6:30! saying he stopped at a friend's house after work. i dont know what to think i know he needs time away, but THAT much? and he doesnt have a cell and we only have 1 car. but he is gone 2/3 nights a week. of course i tried ASKING but that gets nowhr

 
secondtyme520

Asked by secondtyme520 at 7:11 PM on Jul. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,344 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I'm sorry but there is no innocent reason to be out from 5 p.m. to 5 a.m. That is completely ridiculous even if he really is with friends. Visiting is one thing, being gone for hours and hours every day or entire nights is something else. If he is not cheating then he is being irresponsible and immature. I don't know how exactly to prove what he is or is not doing. The only thing I can think of is to tell him you want to come with him. See what he says and does then.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 7:21 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Girl.I'm shaking my head right now because I would be thinking the same thing..that he was cheating.Ask him point blank.ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME? Not over the phone.I know he isn't home that often...but you've gotta wait until you are face to face. When you ask, look him right in the eye...before he answers..does his eyes look somewhere else and then back to you? If so, He's LYING. Does he avoid the question? If so, HE'S LYING..he may not have told a lie because he avoided the question but all the same..He'S LYING.What does your heart and your gut tell you? If your initial thought is that he's cheating...then somethings up. Women have built in survival instincts...its what makes us crazy but always right,lol.
    Everyone needs their time and space...but his time and space is too often and all about himself.How many dang friends does the man have and doesnt these so called friends have a home to be at too?GOOD LUCK!I'VE BEEN THERE
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 7:18 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • If you're so convinced, the damage is already done. Once you get to the point where you are "looking for signs" you are going to find them, even if they aren't there. My question is why waist your time with a relationship with a man you obviously don't trust?
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 7:14 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Ask him if you can come with him. Or ask him when he is going to introduce you to his friend. ...and then pay close attention to his response.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 7:14 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • he may not be cheating but that would be too much time away for me to deal with. i would not be happy about it.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 7:19 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Personally, tell your mom to worry about her own man and leave yours alone. Talk to your bf honey and stop listening to hearsay from your mom. I speak from experience, my mother is constantly trying to turn me against whoever I'm dating. It doesn't matter how great of a guy he is!
    Tes...Jacksmami

    Answer by Tes...Jacksmami at 7:20 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • to add more info, he HAS been acting strange lately and usually just attributes it to stress and work related issues. he and i have also have quite a few heated discussions because he i think is starting to resent his role as head of household, he says he wants our situation to change so that he can spend more time on his dream of being a Musician. he as of now is unhappy with paying the bulk of expenses, i dont know what to do or how to figure out if he truly is cheating on me. and we dont have sex that often either, like 1 every week , sometimes longer if i dont point it out. im just confused help me ladies!
    secondtyme520

    Comment by secondtyme520 (original poster) at 7:16 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Or stop being so paranoid. Honestly without proof you are just driving yourself crazy and every little innocent thing is gonna be suspicious to you no matter what he tells you.
    carmadsmom

    Answer by carmadsmom at 7:16 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • well i know all of the friends that he says he is with and around, and i do trust him, its just that he has been in a strange place lately and i cant put my finger on what it is
    secondtyme520

    Comment by secondtyme520 (original poster) at 7:17 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

  • Sabrina is totally correct!
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 7:17 PM on Jul. 13, 2010

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