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What advice would you give?

My very best friend is i think near 6 months pregnant...recently her BF has become rude w her but she says she thinks its because hes losing interest in her n not the baby. Anyway, she textd me very upset today that he didn't show up to the ultrasound appointment even tho he said he would. She sent him a text saying something like you let me down but he didnt respond and hasnt all day. Shes having a hard time w him not talking to her, and her hormones arent helping im sure lol i told her she needs to blow him off but shes really hurt. what advice would you give to a friend in the same situation?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:22 AM on Jul. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • to have a serious talk with her man. he sounds like he is getting really scared and he needs to talk to her about it not just ignore her. they need to talk about how they are feeling about things right now, even if it's not easy.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 12:30 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Poor girl :( sorry to hear this. It sounds like ur friend is young, is she? I would offer to go with her to her apts. it might help too know someone is there that cares with her! Try to listen to her as best as u can, it can get hard especially if u dont like the guy she is with. Don't tell her she should get rid of the guy, it will only hurt her more, tell her she is worth alot and incourage her to get out and do things with friends to keep her mind busy and away from the guy...always tell her how strong she is and how much faith you have in her soooooon she will hopefully beleive it and adventure off with the baby and leave the jerk behind!!! Hope this helps =)
    tinkerbellma21

    Answer by tinkerbellma21 at 12:31 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • She is young...we're both 25. I try to be there for her by doing things like offereing to go to appts and whatnot but she's got a lot of pride i think and shes very independent.  She insists she doesnt exactly need someone w her or for help.  No ones really liked her BF cuz he does come off really self absorbed, but we dont want to upset her so we dont talk bad about him.  Shes a sweet girl and doesnt kno how to deal w his jerkiness...i just dont know what to say and i feel so bad

    nappeal

    Answer by nappeal at 12:39 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I agree... go with her to all of her appointments and be a psuedo boyfriend. Hang out with movies and ice cream cravings, paint her toe nails and help her get ready for the baby. Try not to say much about the guy... just be there when she needs to talk or express her fears. The only thing you need to keep telling her is that you "will be there and she will be okay, no matter what he does".

    She does need to try to talk to him to see what his deal is. In my experience these guys turn out one of two ways:
    1. They shape up once the baby gets here (or right before) and are great dads after their little freak out
    2. They leave.

    It's too early to know how this will go... so say as little as possible and just BE THERE for your friend. You don't want to stress her out saying bad things about him. Esp since he might get it together and it would always be awkward for you.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 12:40 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Im with both posters before me....but...just be there for her, sometimes there are no words.....thats just how it is sometimes. Show up and be her friend and go to her for her ultra sounds and hear the babies heart beat and just hope that the dad comes around...in the meantime,,,you might want to fill him in on what he is missing out on
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 12:41 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • For a proud person... don't wait for her to invite you... you show up or invite yourself.

    I have a friend like this that was going through a divorce. She would never ask for or indicate she needed help, but I knew she did. After useless attempts to get her to let me help, I tried the "I am going to come over and make dinner for you and the kids on Monday, okay?" She never said no and got better at accepting help until she got back on her feet.

    If she tells you she is craving something... bring it over. If she tells you when her next appoint is, tell her "I'll drive you there, then we can go to lunch after."

    If she hesitantly allows you... then keep it up.
    She will tell you if she doesn't want you there.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 12:49 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

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