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My 27 year old boyfriend doesn't want to work.

I am 25 and my boyfriend is 27. I have been dating him for 8 months. I am having a serious problem. My boyfriend never had a job in his life. Since the first day I met him, my boyfriend has always told me that he is looking for a job, but couldn't find one with his Bachelor's degree in economics. I am a full time English teacher and I support my boyfriend financially. He lives at my house. I pay for his rent, food, and expenses. Whenever he takes me out to dinner or a movie, I pay for everything. In August, I am going to Italy and he wants to come with me. I am so tired of spending money on my boyfriend. I gave him eight months to look for a job, and he still tells me that he couldn't find anything. I used to love my boyfriend very much. I thought about marrying him. But now I don't know what to do. He seems like he is a nice guy, but he wants to mooch off of me. He is taking advantage of my money. Should I dump my boyfriend?

Answer Question
 
nicolesweet

Asked by nicolesweet at 2:24 AM on Jul. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (60 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • If he was my boyfriend, he'd soon be my EX-boyfriend. If he cannot find a job, he should at least be going to further training or trying to go BACK to school or something. It is not right for him to be living off of you like that, especially if you are not comfortable with it.
    ShaunnaMichelle

    Answer by ShaunnaMichelle at 2:27 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Yes you should dump him! He's a grown man and should not be living off of you. He needs to contribute in some way and instead of giving him time to find a job. He needs to prove he's actually looked and made interviews. I get the feeling that the issue is he doesn't want a job. I'm sure if he really wanted one he could fine one. Don't let that man continue to sponge off of you like that.
    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 2:28 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • He isn't taking advantage of your money, he's taking advantage of you. Dump him and find a real man, one that respects you.
    Ashes0813

    Answer by Ashes0813 at 2:29 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • He sounds more like a child than a boyfriend. Does he at least take care of the house, cooking, cleaning, etc? I would go to Italy alone, let him fend for himself a while, and give yourself time away from him to really evaluate your relationship. Besides- maybe you'll get lucky and meet someone great on the flight home! lol (I did when I was 17- spent the summer in the south of Switzerland and all over norther Italy- truly, truly amazing vacation!!)! But definately don't take him with you!!!!! Tell him you need time apart to decide where the relationship is going. Good Luck! :)
    KariLyn84

    Answer by KariLyn84 at 2:30 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Kick him to the curb...he's a serious mooch. Sorry for you! Enjoy your trip to Italy!
    MommyH2

    Answer by MommyH2 at 2:38 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Im in the same boat as you....Im getting to the point that I see him just using me as well..sad thing is we have our child together but Im pretty much raising her on my own anyway!! get rid of him get a real man!!! :)
    mommyof3girls10

    Answer by mommyof3girls10 at 2:42 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I would dump his ass in a minute. Supporting him for a month here or there is one thing but for your whole relationship and on top of him lying to you isn't the right way to start off a relationship. You need to make a big choice and in the end of the day your the one that needs to make this decision to keep supporting his lazy ass or tell him to hit the road and get a job. Taking his ass on vacation with you isn't fair for you you have worked your ass off to go on this vacation so choose wisely.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 2:50 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Seems to me he learned a whole lot about economics. WTH does he need to go to Italy for his whole life is a vacation! It is not realistic for a 27 year old to not have a job. I agree with previous poster it would be one thing to support him for a month or two if he got laid off from a job or something, but the entire relationship. What could this man really be offering you? Leave him and find someone who wants a partnership.
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 6:32 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I'm sorry but if it were me I would have kicked his lazy ass to the curb 7 months ago. I would tell him flat out that you are not footing the bill anymore his feeloading and mooching days are over! I would tell him that he has 2 wks to get a job and start paying for EVERYTHING or he is out the door! I would also tell him that as far as Italy goes- you will only pay for yourself and you plan to go without him. If he wants to go then he better find a way to pay for his trip himself!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:09 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Yes - sounds like he's waiting for the "perfect" job to fall in his lap and until it does he is content to live off of your generosity. That's a serious flaw in his personality. If someone is living off someone else, it should hurt their pride at least a little and it doesn't sound like it bothers him a bit. My ex was the same way and I spent my entire 20s supporting him. Don't waste your life - dump him and find someone better!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 11:28 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

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