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What are the doos and don'ts for a grandmother

Hi. I am part of the young g/mothers group. I was interested to hear from any young moms living with their moms about what are doos and don'ts for a mom in my position. My Mikayla (14) is due in 12 weeks and I am keen to know what really got up your nose as far as us g/mothers

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Anne-Marie457

Asked by Anne-Marie457 at 5:19 AM on Jul. 14, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 5 (73 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I think that at any age, a grandmother needs to let her child parent; you may not agree with how she chooses to raise her child, but you don't get a say.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:30 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • agreed. . . also you need to show her that it is her kid and she needs to be responsible. If you are responsible enough to have sex and get pregnant then you should be responsible enough to raise the kid. **Something like that** She might be young and under your roof but. . . it is her time to be a parent now.
    Kirs

    Answer by Kirs at 5:34 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Let her do her thing with her baby. step back and just watch her if she asks for help give it to her or if she seems frustrated, help her but dont take over. i also really loved when my mom told me she loved me and how great of a job i was doing. she also got me a card JUST BECAUSE saying how proud she was of me. and how im a good mother. :) Made me cry but felt so great to know she noticed!! Gosh i love my mom!
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 5:42 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Do what I am doing and will continue to do as well. You can be a grand parent from a distance, meaning just a regular grandma. Of course your going to have to help her out at first to make sure she is doing ok with the baby. You cant teach anyone however to be a good mom, they have to do that on there own. I had my son when I was young, and I did a very good job...so it can be done for sure. I graduated high school when I was supposed to, went and found a part time job, and moved in to my first apartment when I was eighteen. I am now a LPN at a local nursing home, and in school at night for my RN. so yes it can be done. But you have to let her know right off the bat, that you will not raise that baby, but you will teach her how to care for her baby the right way. You have to step back and let her learn on her own. good luck ;)
    bellamommyof4

    Answer by bellamommyof4 at 6:30 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • my advice to you would be let her be a mommy. you can offer advice and help but its up to her to accept. she probably will look to you for help or advice and just say to her " u could try this" . she needs to make her own mistakes and learn from them. when i had my son my MIL drove me round the bend with do's and dont's-dont brestfeed u ill be sore(i breastfed), dont let him sleep on his belly(he would only sleep on his belly). just be there for her when she has a question or need re-assurance. their is no such thing as a perfect mom- well except for me of course LOL!!!!! best of luck
    shell394

    Answer by shell394 at 6:43 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • You need to let your daughter raise her child the way she feels is necessary. I lived with my mom my entire pregnancy and the first year after my daughter was born. And let me tell you, it was hell. My mom and I no longer have a good relationship because she always tried to butt into our business. She was constantly telling me how I was doing this and this wrong and how I should do it this way. I am a believer in crying it out. Just because my mom didn't agree with it and didn't do it with me, she would go into my daughter's nursery and snatch her out of her bed if I left her in there to cry it out. It's not like I left her in there crying without making sure she needed to be fed, changed, rocked or burped. I made sure all of that was taken care of before I just laid her down. My mom and I argued all the time because she didn't know how to mind her business. She acted like MY daughter was HER daughter.
    poptart0325

    Answer by poptart0325 at 9:27 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • And that's a no no. There's a difference between grandmother and mother. Unfortunately my mom couldn't tell the difference and felt the need to try to be in charge. And I believe that you shouldn't offer advice unless it's asked of you. Good luck and congrats on being a grandma.
    poptart0325

    Answer by poptart0325 at 9:29 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

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