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how to spark our marriage again, husband wont try,i need to do this and spark him

We love eachother and are only with eachother.Our sex life has dwindled a lot in the past year(somewhat affected by prescriptions) He is irritable , has said things about being done and just sick of it in arguments etc. in the same on rare, random occasions he has professed that losing us would break his hurt and he see's how supportive i am even when he says things out of anger.we do not have that spark anymore,that playfulness etc. he turns down 90% of my intimate advances(sexual and non )last time we had sex was a week ago,i dressed up,lit candles,etc.total suprise,he came in 4 min. and that was that,right now i know i need to be the one to cause a spark, to make something wake him up and make him fight for this marriage as much as i will,i know he loves me but he feels no passion/joy/fire anymore ,i try things but he says i do things in my comfort level,i dont know what to do that will shock him.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:35 AM on Jul. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • I find the best thing to do if you're partner has some image of what you should be doing is to ask him. My DH told me that I wasn't initiating sex enough. I would try.. and he would just say no, not right now.. or whatever... went like that for about a month, and finally in frustration I asked him "what am I supposed to do to get your attention!".. and he told me. Maybe your DH has some ideas in his mind.. fantasies, that he'd like to act out? Or maybe you do?
    Could always try going to counseling if you think it'd help.
    MomtoElliett

    Answer by MomtoElliett at 6:43 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Life can really get in the way of intimacy! I have found that simple touching, playful teasing, and vocally telling your spouse how attractive they are, can go a long way in rekindling passion. It takes awhile to "reconnect", but its worth it. Usually the other partner will respond to all of the above and begin to recipercate!
    momsbreak5654

    Answer by momsbreak5654 at 6:47 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • try a date night once a month thats what we do but after 32 years its fun and we can talk about anything good luck
    butterflysmom

    Answer by butterflysmom at 7:53 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

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