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My mother in law does not like my family, how do I get her to be nice to my mom?

 
MrsCetor

Asked by MrsCetor at 9:06 AM on Jul. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (18 Credits)
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Answers (14)
  • My mom and my sisters MIL are like this, but my mom will knock the b*tch out, lol. My mom doesn't put up with much, let alone being disrespected and in my family we know better than to allow someone to be rude to my mom. If it was my MIL, i'd be in her face the second she was rude to my mother. But we're a very protective family...
    allfiller

    Answer by allfiller at 10:45 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • You don't. The most you can do is ask them to be civil to each other.
    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 9:08 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Just ask her. Tell her from the bottom of your heart how happy it would make you of they made an effort to be civil & respectful.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:10 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • does she have reason? My inlaws met my dad and stepmonster once...(at my wedding) and thats all it took for them. My FIL looked at me and said, "what a fuckin asshole" can't blame him..
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:11 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • You have to accept that you cannot change anything about her. I lived with that for more than 40 years. I don't know if it was jealousy or what, but whenever they were in the same room, there was usually tension. You have to somehow come to the realization that it's not your fault and you can't fix it, and the best thing you can do is ignore it and try to enjoy your life as is.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:12 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Well, I've been married for 26 years and my MIL is just as nasty as the first day I met her. The secret is, is to have your husband deal with her. The harder you try, the worse it will become. Have a heart to heart discussion with your husband and have him speak to his mother. He needs to tell her it isn't acceptable and he won't tolerate it anymore. Until then, I'd tell my husband that I would be keeping my distance from his mother and will be keeping my mother away from her as well. If you have children, they are very perceptive and notice that one grandma isn't nice to others. It seriously needs to be dealt with by your husband though.
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 9:13 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Thanks ladies.. I have asked her and she doesn't care about how she treats people. I told her that one day and she got pissed and left.
    MrsCetor

    Comment by MrsCetor (original poster) at 9:15 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • You can't make her be nice but you can minimize the interaction between the two of them. I would try to not have them together very much. Your mom can kill her with kindness every time she sees her.....take the high road. And your mom should be able to simply say hello and then avoid her when they are at family get togethers, etc. You could have family members "watching out for" your mom too. I don't know if your SO would want to talk to his mother about this. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 9:17 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • have you or dh ever told your inlaws stories about your parents that could give her a strong opinion of them? Maybe from your childhood or anything. That could be the problem if so
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:19 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Well if she does not care how she treats people then it does not sound like she is very motivated to change her ways. I would have hubs tell her that when both sides of the family are invited to your house he (and you) expects everyone (especially her) to be civil to each other. Rudeness will NOT be tolerated and the 'offender' will be asked to leave and will not be included in future gatherings.

    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 9:25 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

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