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help with the stbx

So my soon to ex husband came over for dinner last night..I invited him, he wanted to see our son. And told me that 1 he has his friends keeping tabs on me when I'm out, and 2. that he's going to spend the rest of his life trying to get me back. Ummm yea, I have been dating here and there (I have two nights a month when the in laws take my son) and his friends saw me out holding hands with this guy...IDK i'm a little worried..he doesn't seem mad or anything, just a little obsessed...any suggestions? sorry i know this isn't really a question, but what would you do in my situation?

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gypsymama532

Asked by gypsymama532 at 10:02 AM on Jul. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,932 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Sorry, but I would keep the dating out of the question until the divorce is completely over. That way there is really nothing that he can do or say about it. The it really doesn't matter if he has people watching you or not.

    IMO, you are still married until the judge signs the papers.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:04 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I agree that it would be a good idea to keep you relationships on the down low until the divorce is over. You must live in a small town, that must suck to be "watched" when you go out.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:07 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I would take a deep breath before jumping back into the dating pool and enjoy being single going out on dates is not a relationship and if you go out keep it light enjoy it. I would also sit him down and talk about boundaries and what you expect.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:11 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I agree with the others, I think it would be a good idea to either not date until you are divorced, or keep the dating as 'casual friends' until the divorce is final. Then once the divorce is final you will be free to date and do what you want, and your ex won't be able to say/do anything about it. I would let your lawyer know that your stbx said he has someone watching you. I would also try to find out who the 'watcher' is and record the times/dates/names of when you think you are being watched and hand it over to the lawyer and maybe the police. You do not have to put up with being 'stalked' and 'watched'.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:18 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • yea, I am in no way ready for a relationship, but I do enjoy going out on my nights off, the divorce papers are signed it just won't be finalized for another 2 months.
    gypsymama532

    Comment by gypsymama532 (original poster) at 10:18 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • *dates with friends*
    gypsymama532

    Comment by gypsymama532 (original poster) at 10:19 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • thanks mizlee, he has so many friends in this town it's hard to know but thanks, I will talk to my lawyer about it
    gypsymama532

    Comment by gypsymama532 (original poster) at 10:20 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

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