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Did you settle?

when you married, did you get the brass ring, or do you think you settled for good enough?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on Jul. 14, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • No. But some of my "must haves" and "deal breakers" changed as I got older and had more experience under my belt. Biggest one being that I did not want to date/marry a man with kids from a previous relationship. I just didn't want to deal with the "baby mama drama" that I've seen my friends go through. My SO knew this from the beginning but insisted that his situation wasn't like that and was very persistent in pursuing me. So I gave it a shot. I'm glad I did. He met all of my other criteria, he makes me laugh, he's a kind soul, a bright man, etc. The kids are a challenge at times and so is the ex wife. But generally speaking, I don't feel like I settled at all. I just changed my mind.
    BuddyRoo

    Answer by BuddyRoo at 11:41 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • no why would anyone just settle?
    starestrada

    Answer by starestrada at 10:59 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • We never get what we think we deserve. We only get what we negotiate. If you settle for mediocre, then you got what you settled for. EVERYONE settles. It's just a matter of what you are willing to agree to, and what you refuse to accept. It's a risk. Some riskier than others. The more you bargain, the better you get at bargaining and the less you learn to settle for. Start out this way: What do you think you are worth? If you feel like you have more to offer than what he is willing to "pay", then speak up. Do something about it.
    Joanne28

    Answer by Joanne28 at 11:11 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Brass ring all the way baby.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 10:59 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • No I didn't settle, but sometimes his actions make me thing other wise.
    randerykah

    Answer by randerykah at 11:00 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I settled. We had been together for so long it was either get married or break up. we made the wrong choice. 4 years and 1 beautiful DD later, we divorced and we get along much better now than we ever did.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:06 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Yes, and now I'm divorced (for other reasons)...

    Sometimes I wonder if my SO is settling for me, I couldn't imagine possibly wanting anything more from/in a person!
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 11:07 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I settled when I got married the first time. After 12 years, we divorced. This time I did things right and decided I would stay single forever rather than live with another man that I had "settled" for. It's so much better this time around!!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 11:30 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I settled when I got married the first time. We'd been together for almost 2 years, got engaged, then I got pregnant. Iwas having doubts about marrying him, but I thought it was the best thing to do, since there would be a child involved. I stayed with him for 7 more years of verbal abuse. When it became physical, I kicked him out. My son and I deserved better.
    I am now married for the 2nd and last time. I did not settle. We love each other with all of our hearts and souls. We've been together for 5 years and have been married for 1 year.
    offrdngal

    Answer by offrdngal at 11:35 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Not at all.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 11:37 AM on Jul. 14, 2010