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Please spare me the judging...

Hello ladies, I'm a 21 year old married mother of a 2 year old. Just recently I got an abortion because my husband said he wasn't ready to have another one. My husband was suppose to go with me but he decided that his license was more important. As outraged as I was I decided fine do whatever you want. My older sister who was suppose to go to a party the night before went with me instead. From then on my husband and I have been arguing almost everyday about everything. We argued before but it's gotten worse. Just last month I found out he was talking to another woman and she had told him her ex had made her get an abortion and he gave her sympothy and told her she was gonna have his baby in the next year! I asked him what's this about and he said he only said that because he was mad at me and he know it was stupid but he wanted to know if he "still got it". Now we're talking about seperation.idk what to do

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Jul. 14, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Getting a DIVORCE is easier said then done....you will go through your up and downs in a marriage but getting a divorce is just too simple. Marriages takes time and compromising...you can seperate but that only will draw him to that other woman. With every action there is consequence and sometimes things dont always go the way you want them to. Now, I agree that you should be mad at the fact that he didnt go with you to the clinic, he was 100% wrong for that. As women we must handle all situation without arguing. This is what I would do......Be the nicest wife that you can be, less nagging, complaining, and start paying more attention tou yourself and your child. Start going the extra mile when you get dress...hair, makeup, look extra sexy every single day. Dont give up on your relationship/marriage unless you are very confident that is what you wanna do. I am open to talk later if you would like. Just send me a request.
    mom42107

    Answer by mom42107 at 1:11 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Ok, it sounds like your DH is hiding something. you don't say things like that to another woman just because you are mad at your wife. It also sounds like he is only out for himself. He got you pregnant, then wanted you to abort, and then was more concerned about himself than his wife who is getting a major thing done.

    I would say that a separation isn't such a bad thing at this point. It can help you put things into perspective. Do you really want to be with someone who puts themselves above you on every turn? Someone who says provocative things to another woman under the guise that he is mad at you? Someone you argue with at every turn?
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:05 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Sounds like you need a lawyer. There's no way in hell I would stay with him.
    DesertRose75

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 11:02 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • First of all, I would never stay with a man that told me to get an abortion, secondly he's acting like a child and I wouldn't be with someone like that either
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:09 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Why would you stay with him? He shouldn't choose if you have an abortion or not. It's your body your carrying the baby in. I would have kicked him to the curb and kept the baby. Kick him out and move on!
    JoMcD

    Answer by JoMcD at 11:09 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I think a seperation would do you two a little good. Time to think and give your emotions a little break. It sounds like he might be upset with himself about the abotion and is taking it out on you but when times are hard your husband shouldnt be talking with some woman he should be talking to you. That was out of line and after what you just went through you deserve more out of him.
    seabee_wife

    Answer by seabee_wife at 11:19 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I would talk counseling and I would have it out with him this was a hard choice and how he said that too another woman its time for you to bring this too the light. You two are going to have a good old fashioned argument hurt feelings and all. This is the big old white elephant in the room. In order for your relationship to survive you are going to have to call BS on him and say whatever you said to that woman hurt me. Hash it out get a counselor and even if you have to go by yourself and bring him in this is going to have to be discussed. (((HUGS))) GL Momma

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:20 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Having an abortion voluntarily is hard enough emotionally and can lead to many confusing feelings. Being coerced into having one would be even worse. IMHO, I think you should make arrangements to speak to a professional who can help guide you through some difficult choices and help you deal with the emotions you are feeling. Get YOU straight and then you can decide what to do about DH.
    BuddyRoo

    Answer by BuddyRoo at 11:28 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • It's not right! I made so many sacrifices for him, and the one time I really needed him he wasn't even there. Yea sure he called to see if I was alright but that wasn't enough. He's in the military he can get his license in CT because that's where he's stationed but no he wanted to get it in NY. I'm tired of him always putting himself first.
    devinebeauty

    Answer by devinebeauty at 11:30 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

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