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my husband thinks that because i am a stay at home mom i dont bust my butt, his words not mine, what are your opinions on this??

He says because i stay at home its not a job, i take care of our 2 and a half year old and almost 4 year old. We live twenty minutes from any town, so driving to town is a big deal to him because it wastes gas he says, he pretty much wants me to stay home and do nothing to save money, my little sister just passed away 2 months ago and sometimes i start dwelling on things so i get out and go to the library or to my dads, i dont have a mom either so i am pretty lonely out here. I am feelinf suffocated and unable to cope with everything, what would you do??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:29 AM on Jul. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Dr Phil has said himself that a SAHM is equal to working 2 Full Time Jobs. I would leave the kids with the hubby and go away for a day. Go chill and relax at a Spa or take a day trip to a peaceful place where you can just be you.
    DesertRose75

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 11:33 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • He's an ass. Honestly? I would make him take a week's vacation so he can stay at home with the kids to get an idea of what you do, while you go stay at your dad's. I'm betting he wouldn't last 2 days.

    I'm so sorry for your loss.
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 11:33 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Um some men are ignorant pigs?
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:34 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I think you should let him do what you do for a couples of days and see how quickly he changes his tune! You also need some sort of outlet or you will combust!
    older

    Answer by older at 11:35 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Well losing a sibling can be devistating to someones mental health, and being alone to dwell on the what ifs isn't going to be helpful. I'd tell him that unless he wants you to become depressed you need to be able to go into town. There's no point in trying to explain how hard you work during the day, unless he's stayed home and done it for any length of time he's just going to assume that it's a walk in the park.
    GigantaursMommy

    Answer by GigantaursMommy at 11:37 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • good luckA lot of time men don't realize how much we really do until they have to do it. A couple months ago SO was off work for a week and a half and my mom was having surgery 2 1/2 hours away. So he stayed home with our son (13 1/2 months old at the time.) for 3 days. He was calling me every half an hour asking is this normal, where do you keep this, do you think he is okay etc. When I came back home the house was demolished, dirty dishes everywhere, stuff in the floor, dirty bathroom, no cleaning what so ever had been done. But as soon as I walked in he hugged and kissed me and told me that he had no idea how much I actually did and how hard it was, and how he would never complain about anything not being done etc anymore, and he hasn't. Maybe you should get away for a few days and leave your work load

    BlainesMommy09

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 11:38 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • ((((HUGS)))) Sorry about your sister. I would start a play group or some business for myself or maybe even take online classes. Its hard when your feeling isolated and not appreciated. that is why i went back to school. I would also start finding some hobby that helps you feel better. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:38 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Ever thought about getting a job and making him pay for daycare, someone to come in and clean the house, mow the lawn, buy groceries, take the kids to their activities, do the laundry and dishes, and cook the meals? He will change his tune quickly!! Or start calling around and find out what everyone charges in your area for each of those things. Submit a monthly bill to him. Some guys need a wake up call.

    Depending on his personality, you could also figure out how much child support and alimony he'd have to pay if you'd decide he wasn't worth the work. Some guys are so money driven its ridiculous.
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 11:41 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • You need a girls weekend away!

    It would help your sadness plus give your husband an idea what it is like to be home alone with two kids for days.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 11:42 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • clearly he doesn't get what it takes to what you do. you are going to need to care for yourself and your young ones through this transition~want to make so money? want to just enjoy the moments? want think of ways to help your community or ideas?

    sorry your little sister isn't here~you must still be really sad and recovering~I hope your darling hubby isn't so money stressed he isn't himself either. Hope you guys can trade smiles over cheerios!
    surfcitymom

    Answer by surfcitymom at 11:46 AM on Jul. 14, 2010

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