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How can I stop being jealous and insecure?

When me and my SO met he was dating the mother of his child (please no bashing it's a LONG story) well I know her well and to me she is SO much better looking then I am!!! My SO tells me all the time I am so much prettier then her and LALALALA but I know that she is better looking. well until they go to court about custody and so on he has to go to her apartment to see his child because she won't let him pick her up or anything and I am always so jealous, I know I shouldn't be because he is only going to see his daughter but still!!!! How can I stop this'?

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Brianna-Ravae

Asked by Brianna-Ravae at 12:59 PM on Jul. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 10 (483 Credits)
Answers (24)
  • Find someone that doesn't have the baggage. Not sure if you will ever be able to get over that. If his word isn't good enough, not sure where you will ever find the trust.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:01 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Go with him to see his child.. if you are seriously going to be in his life, the child should see you too..
    OR--just trust him.. if you don't feel that you can trust him then you shouldn't be with him anyway.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:01 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And I think what the mom is doing is illegal. He has every right to have visitation away from her. Unless a court oders supervised visitation, she can't make him do his visits at her apartment.
    JGRIMMER

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 1:02 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • It is a choice that you must make. I suggest you tell your SO what is going on so he can help you through it.... but you need to get used to the fact that he will see the mother of his child whenever he goes to get his child. You need to find the root cause of this jealousy and insecurity or else it will affect your relationship with him and it could turn into bitterness and anger. That is the path this travels on.
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 1:03 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • She won't let me go with him, and yeah the court ordered that in Florida the law is until they go to court she has full custody, it's ridiculous.
    Brianna-Ravae

    Comment by Brianna-Ravae (original poster) at 1:03 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Communicate with him. You have to let him know how you feel. Scrap all that prettier than thou mess. You have to be able to have trust in him well enough to know that you are the person in his life right now and yes he has a child so unfortunately his ex will also be in the background. Don't let the issue continue to grow into something that could possibly break the two of you up.
    mom_of_twins972

    Answer by mom_of_twins972 at 1:07 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Damn..she sounds like a bitch.. I was kinda like that at first when me and my kids' dad split--i was really rude to his new girl, but I got over it.. I'm happy now with my new guy & if my kids' dad is really gonna be with this girl, I might as well get along with her.. So maybe in time she will quit being such a stuck up bitch! lol. In the meantime--I can tell you, from his side of things, my new guy worried at first about me seeing my ex to give him the girls or get the girls back, & I made it clear I didn't want him at all ( and I dont).. and I haven't done anything with my ex.. So I would say, if he seems like a trustworthy guy, trust him! You should anyway until he gives you a reson not to.. =)
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:08 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Then perhaps you can have him ask to have his visitation somewhere neutral like a park, Chuck-E-Cheese, etc. That way he's out in public and maybe it will make you feel more secure. What were the reasons behind him leaving her? You should just sit down and let him know how you feel and that you trust him but....
    JGRIMMER

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 1:08 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Embrace your inner beauty. Find what it is that makes you unique & special & realize how awesome it is. When you look at yourself, focus on that beauty. Stop taking yourself for granted, we often take ourselves for granted so much that we forget what it is that makes us so awesome, & instead we look at other people & want their beauty when you really already have plenty of it. Another thing that amplifies beauty, is confidence. Women who understand how awesome they are, radiate happiness & positive vibrations & that in itself is so utterly attractive. No one enjoys being with someone who is always pityingthemselves. It is hard & time consuming work to be with someone who thinks they are not pretty & is constantly talking about it. You comparing yourself to her will do nothing for your relationship but hurt it. He is with you, he is obviously attracted to you. You need to realize how beautiful you are.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:08 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I just looked at your photo & i cannot believe you are even asking this.You are so beautiful. Your insecurities must come from some kind of pain you experienced growing up, because you have no real reason to be so insecure. You are extremely attractive.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:10 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

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