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4 Bumps

Should I go this woman's birthday party even though she doesn't like me?

Her husband told my husband and I he is throwing her a party on the 24th(so I have time to decide). They are 10 years older than us though. The woman and I have a bit of a history. She is the type of woman that's NASTY NICE all at the same time. She will compliment me and insult me at the same time. I have tried stomaching her because she is a church member. When I lost weight after my second baby she accused me of throwing up and starving myself in front of everyone. That wasn't the last time she did that either. And then when I started to pack on a few pound during the holiday she kept asking me if I was still 'working out'? My mother in law is her best friend and she does the same to me, and I know she is going to be there. Sigh.. if I don't go what do I tell everyone? My husband thinks I'm over reacting (smh). Would you go and just tough it out?

 
randerykah

Asked by randerykah at 1:50 PM on Jul. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,419 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • You dont need the abuse or drama honey. you dont have to tell anyone ANYTHING. Just dont go. Dont play her games, and dont make yourself available for her to victimize. remember that people like her are often miserable in thier own lives, that is why they lash out on someone else like this. pray for her pain to be relieved and for her to find some happiness and STAY AWAY from her.
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 1:54 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Honestly, when someone makes snarky comments like that to me, especially in front of people I get "Nasty Nice" right back with them. For instance, when she accused me of throwing up to lose weight, I probably would have smiled, and said well, if that's what you think I am doing, maybe you should try it to drop those few extra pounds, obviously it is working for me"
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 1:52 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I would never make my self uncomfortable like that I wouldnt no thanks
    starestrada

    Answer by starestrada at 1:51 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I would go and give her a taste of her own medicine.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:51 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • No way...I'd make other plans...seriously. You guys aren't really "friends" then and you don't need to be there. I know someone like that, and it would almost be as though, if you showed up, like she would use it as a "look at what a great husband I have and look at this fantastic party I get in my honor".....
    You might as well be walking into hell. lol
    CAGirl4

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 1:53 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I've been in similar situations and personally I think you and your husband should stay home. She's going to think what she wants so who cares what excuse you give her?

    When we are skipping something we hate going to my husband and I tend to be in really great moods because we know what we're missing. We make a night of it at home and watch a movie and just have nice alone time. : )
    Sara.Robyson

    Answer by Sara.Robyson at 1:54 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I wouldn't go.. you don't deserve to be put out on front street like that, so that phony church lady can put you down.. Make plans with your kids now and when the time comes you can say you have other plans.. and men always think we are over reacting ;).. they just aren't as emotional as us women.
    BobbieJo286

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 1:55 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Unless your DH is going, I wouldn't go. I don't feel the need to make any excuses for my decision so it's really no one's business but my DH
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:55 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Yeah, I don't think I'd go if I was in that situation. I don't think you are over reacting at all. Someone making comments like those to me would make me incredibly upset.

    If you do decide to go and she starts making comments about your weight in front of people I would politely say that I find it rude of her to be commenting about my weight in front of people and that I don't think it's very appropriate to make judgments on someone based on their weight.
    I would then politely ask her to please stop making those comments.

    Kill her with kindness. If you're rude and nasty back then you're lowering yourself to her level. If you remain classy and tactful then she will feel like an idiot for being such a hag.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 2:00 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • If your husband wants to go then yes you should go. You can leave at the earliest opportunity. It's possible that when the lady is around you enough that she'll come to like you. If you don't go, it could look to her as if you are snubbing her.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 2:00 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

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