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2 Bumps

DOES ANYONE HAVE A "FAVORITE?"

I HAD 3 BOYS.MY OLDEST WAS KILLED 6 MONTHS AGO.HE WAS 31. BUT EVEN BEFORE JOSH WAS KILLED, MY YOUNGEST SON,JERRAD,IS & ALWAYS HAS BEEN MY FAV. SOMETIMES I FEEL GUILTY OVER IT.I LOVE ALL MY KIDS.& TRY TO TREAT THEM THE SAME.I DON'T KNOW.I FEEL LIKE A BAD MOM SOMETIMES.

 
bvannkissy

Asked by bvannkissy at 1:55 PM on Jul. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 18 (5,409 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I only have one, so I can't answer that. But what I can tell you is that years of research has shown that most parents (while vehemently denying it) do tend to have a favorite. It's not about not loving equally, it's about feeling differently ... and we're human. Most parents tend to feel closer to one child than another, or feel that they can relate better with one child, or that they understand that child better. Despite these feelings, most parents also treat all of their children very well and work diligently to show all of their children much love.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 2:08 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Sorry, I love all my kids equally (and they are treated as such).
    Sara.Robyson

    Answer by Sara.Robyson at 1:59 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I can't say that I do have a favorite. I have a son and a daughter and they're 2.5 years apart. I love them equally for many of the same and also many different reasons.
    I couldn't imagine my life without either of them. I'm sorry for your loss. I couldn't imagine losing a child.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 2:03 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I only have an 11 month old but if i did have more children i deff wouldnt love one more than the other. That's just wrong.
    AshleaaKayy

    Answer by AshleaaKayy at 2:22 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I don't know that I'd say I have a favorite between my two boys, but as aliceinalgonac pointed out I do have different feelings for each. I think I do have stronger feelings for my son Alex (he is 15), he was born 2 years after I gave up my first son for adoption. He is the reason truly that I am still alive after the pain I had suffered. I also believe that I see Alex as a replacement for my first born, there are times I look at him and can see my first born. It breaks my heart when I think that way, but they are identical in looks and personality. I believe he chose me before he was born for the purpose to give me back what I had lost. I was not happy when I was pregnant with my last, in fact I completely distanced myself in the hospital until I realized he would die and then felt tremendous guilt. I love him so much and the bond is great, but there is this piece of me that see's Alex's so much differently.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:30 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • i have only one child so i can't answer that.
    shorty13417

    Answer by shorty13417 at 6:33 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I NEVER SAID I LOVED ONE MORE THAN THE OTHER.I SAID MY YOUNGEST IS MY FAV.& I LOVE THEM ALL THE SAME.JERRAD WAS A RAPE BABY.MAYBE THAT IS WHY.& YES,WE RELATE DIFFERENTLY THAN I DO WITH MY OTHER. BUT... I LOVE THEM ALL THE SAME.
    bvannkissy

    Comment by bvannkissy (original poster) at 12:41 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

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