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Repost: If your husband works away from the home a lot, how do your young children cope?

My husband is in the National Guard. In June he finished his training that was full time for 2 yrs. He has been working when there is training for him to do. So his time at home is all over the place. Week or more gone, home for a couple days or longer. Recently our almost 2yr old has been having problems sleeping. He has never slept well, but the last few night he has been up screaming more than 5x. Yesterday he had a lot of accidents and today a couple already. I didn't put 2 and 2 together until someone said, maybe with his dad coming and going inconsistently that is what is bothering him and causing these behaviors. He doesn't understand what it means when I say "Daddy's working, he'll be him in a few days" after he walks around asking "Where's Daddy". Life is pretty structured other than this HUGE factor. Any suggestions on how to help my little one cope?

 
2BlondeBabies

Asked by 2BlondeBabies at 2:44 PM on Jul. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (3)
  • We have videos of my husband reading to the kids and personal videos for each of them of him talking to them. He sent them through his cell phone to mine about once a week. This was while he was in Afghanistan. Have Daddy call often even if the 2 y/o can't talk back he will enjoy hearing his dad's voice. It is hard for the children of servicemembers but, it can be done. My mom was a army child and she has no issues and she doesn't even remember her dad being gone often and he was Active Army during Nam and Korea. Don't let people make you feel bad because your husband is gone working a lot there are TONS of reasons on why a 2 y/o is having problems.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 2:59 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • It's really hard my husband is in the army and got back from deployment in dec and is in the field right now. And my daughters had the same problems. Just try to keep him really busy on the days daddy is gone like anything you can think of that he likes read him books color. Have him draw daddy a picture. And lkenyou said a this age it's hard because he doesn't understand. Hope that helps good luck
    lovie04256

    Answer by lovie04256 at 3:01 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • My kids don't seem to have too much of a problem with it. They are used to having Daddy gone 1 or 2 nights each week, and sometimes a little longer. They will ask where he is, and they accept the answers I give; my husband says they do the same when I am working late. We keep their routine pretty much the same whether Daddy is home or not. My husband has always participated a lot in childcare, so I think my kids are pretty accepting of having either of us doing a variety of things.


    If your husband's schedule is very different than it was before it could take your son some time to adjust to the new schedule. I would suggest giving it a little time and making sure your son gets plenty of Daddy time when he is home. You might try taking your son to see where Daddy works sometime and taking a few pictures of your husband and son there together; show them to your son when you explain where Daddy is. GL!

    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 3:23 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

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