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2 Bumps

Virgin or ho? Is there no middle ground?

Thanks to some of the answers to this question:

I've been any woman who is not a virgin bride automatically a "ho"? That seems to be the attitude of many here.

Either your a pure and holy virgin...or an STD-ridden, slutty "ho".

What gives?

(cross-posted in "Relationships")


Asked by Anonymous at 3:48 PM on Jul. 14, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • It's all part of the double standard against women. Its considered normal and healthy if a man sows his wild oats by being a manwhore, but if a woman attempts to have mature consentual sex with more than 1 or 2 men, she's no longer considered normal or healthy for it. Instead she's promiscuous.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 3:50 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • "A ho is someone who sleeps around with multiple partners in a short period of time."

    I'm gonna have to disagree with this definition. It really doens't define anything. What's "multiple partners"? more than 1? 5? 10? And what's "short period of time"? Days? weeks? A month? A year? How do we calculate proper ho-ness with this definition? 5 guys in two weeks makes a ho but 10 guys in a year doesn't?
    IMHO, a ho is someone who simply engages in sexual activity for the sake of it, indiscriminately, just because the guy's there, and he's cute and he's willing and hey, who cares? it's just sex. It doesn't matter if it's just that one guy in any period of time or if it's two dozen guys, IMHO that disregard of sex as something more than simply a way of getting physical pleasure is what makes a ho as it truly demeans what human sexuality really is.


    Answer by momto2boys973 at 4:10 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I think that isn't what the majority of one man women were saying at all.

    I think your question is a bit biased in saying that virgins are considered "pure and holy" compared to "STD ridden slutty ho." I know for me I always felt like a freak keeping my virginity! No one treated me any better (if anything I was treated worse) and I NEVER bragged or flaunted it. If we can be honest though, is there anyway to say "oh yeah, I was a virgin until 20 something" and NOT have people go on the defensive thinking you are attacking their choices?

    Also, there were women making statements about how some men only want what other men haven't had. If that is true why are so many of those woman still married to those men? To me that would mean they need to go find more "uncharted territory." Excuse me for getting a bit defensive but it is offensive when people are saying that is why your husband is with you.

    Answer by Sara.Robyson at 3:54 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I don't believe in any extremes, so of course there's a middle ground.
    However, when woman (or men) claim that it's better to have multiple sex partners to "compare" and "have a point of reference" before settling down with one person is telling me that they're taking love, coinnection and bonding out of their sex lives and just go with whoever it's "best". I didn't need to shop around and to compare sexually speaking because having a wonderful sex life with my husband comes from our connection, not the other way around. IMHO, glorifying that shopping around demeans the value of sexuality based on something more than pure physical pleasure.


    Answer by momto2boys973 at 3:56 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I wasn't a virgin before I married my husband and I wasn't (nor am I) a ho.
    There is a great difference between someone who has premarital sex and a ho. A ho is someone who sleeps around with multiple partners in a short period of time. Also, it can be defined as someone who is easily in bed with anyone who shows interest. I am neither of those and I had premarital sex. My parents taught me better then that to give myself away so easily. Not to mention the fact that I had/have no desire to sleep around like a sleaze.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:50 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • "Mary Madolyn was an adltries and Jesus draw a line and said he how is without sin cast the first stone"

    Just feel the need to point out that that's not actually in the Bible. That's a combination of a couple stories.

    Answer by Sara.Robyson at 3:59 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Of course there is a middle ground, once you find love, it does not matter what you did in the past what counts is the present. Commitments are made on a daily basis based on feelings not past experiences, so for all practical purposes what any one of us did in our younger years has no bearing on our present. Virginity is rare and way over rated, and not necessarily pure or holy.

    Answer by older at 4:02 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • It's not Mary Magdalene... it's a woman found committing adultery.

    Answer by Sara.Robyson at 4:13 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • While many would probably consider me a "ho" by their own standards, my own standard is what I need to live by. I could care less what others think about my "ho" status, what matters is mine and my dh's opinion of me....and so far after 15 yrs he is pretty damn happy!

    Answer by sahmamax2 at 4:45 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I think it's safe to say that a woman on Maury testing the 8th, 9th, 10th guy to see if he is her baby's daddy, she is a ho.

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 5:35 PM on Jul. 14, 2010