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How do I tell him I want out?

I've been with my SO for 3 years. We have a 2 year old. Our bad days are about 80% and good days about 20%. I'm not in love with him anymore, but he still is in love with me. I dont want to break his heart, but I'm not happy. We've tried to work it out and it's just not working. Every time I leave I always take him back, I think i'm just scared of being alone. We don't live together. How am I supposed to tell him I want out for real without crushing him?

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:50 PM on Jul. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Honestly I don't think there is a way you can tell him that "without crushing him."

    I'm sorry it has come to this for you though and there is no working it out. That's really sad for all involved. : (

    Answer by Sara.Robyson at 4:52 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I'd just say I'm not happy and I need a break.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:55 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • It's time to put your big girl panties on and be direct, honest, and stick to what you say. You keep taking him back tells him that you don't really want out, you want to fix something but aren't sure what it is so he's going to keep trying to "fix" your relationship. Tell him there's nothing to fix it's just time to go your separate ways. He'll be upset at first and being friends is dangerous right off the bat because he'll probably try to get you back again. Keep your distance, only talk to him when it is about your child, don't agree to see him, just stay away. Don't be mean, just be direct. If you are wishy washy he'll think you aren't sure about your decision. Do it over the phone if you don't think you can handle seeing him break down, then if he starts in with trying to get you back calmly say that you've said what you needed to and that you're hanging up now and say goodbye.

    Answer by Cassarah at 4:55 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • The sooner the better, so he can get on with his life. He'll be hurt, but it is for the best. You'd want him to tell you as soon as possible if he had lost interest in you.

    Answer by Bmat at 4:56 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • least your not living together...makes seperating a little easier then living together

    Answer by oppsdiditagain at 5:00 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • You're just going to have to be direct, hun. I was in the same situation with my ex. It was hard because we have 2 kids, but I was just not in love with him and very unhappy. I felt sorry for him so it made it really hard. I still feel sorry for him because a year later, he still wants to be with me. It's not easy at all. You just have to go for it, the longer you wait, the harder it will be. Good luck.

    Answer by mommymela87 at 7:56 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • It time to be open, honest and direct. Don't give long explainations, just how you feel and then move on. You are not doing anyone any favors by staying with this guy and not being happy.

    Answer by michelle121003 at 8:04 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • be a woman, put your big girl panties on and just TELL HIM. stop wasting his time and let him know the truth

    Answer by 3xangel at 11:38 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Honestly and Directly ... and be brief about it.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 3:39 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

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