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2 Bumps

How long is too long to be with a person?

THE REASON I ASKED THIS QUESTION IS BECAUSE I WANTED TO KNOW HOW OTHER WOMEN FEEL ABOUT BEING WITH THEIR SO AND WHEN WILL HE ASK YOU TO BE HIS WIFE. I WAS WITH MY DAUGHTER FATHER FOR 5 YEARS BEFORE MY DAUGHTER CAME ALONG...SHE IS NOW 2. I WENT MY ENTIRE PREGNANCY SINGLE. NOW I AM WITH MY SO OF A YEAR AND THINGS HAVE BEEN GOING PRETTY GOOD. WE HAVE OUR UP AND DOWNS BUT WE SEEM TO MAKE OUT OK, WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND JUST 1 MONTH AGO (JUNE) I TOLD HIM THAT I WAS MOVING BACK TO THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN THAT MY MOTHER RESIDES. MY REASON FOR MOVING IS BECAUSE I DONT WANT HIM TO GET TOO COMFORTABLE WITH ME AND DONT WANT TO GIVE ME WHAT I DESERVE....MEANING I AM NOT ABOUT TO GIVE HIM ANOTHER YEAR AND NOT HAVE ANYHTING TO LOOK FORWARD TO....HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO DETERMINE IF YOU WANNA SPEND THE REST OF YOU LIFE WITH SOMEONE? I DONT WANT TO GIVE ANOTHER PERSON MORE OF MY TIME AND WE ARE STILL ON LEVEL 2.

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mom42107

Asked by mom42107 at 5:16 PM on Jul. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,080 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I'd say 2 years max. Anytime more and he gets too used to you doing wifey things without the title.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 5:18 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I really do not know. A couple from my church dated 10 years before they married. They waited to have children till after they were married as well. They are really happy!
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 5:19 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • have you told him that you eventually wanna marry him? I married the father of my children a year ago and we were together for 6 years. We talked about marriage and we would seperate and get back together, We found the perfect time to get married. I didn't want to pressure him into it but I did eventually wanna marry him and as long as he said yes we will marry eventually thats all I needed to stay and the fact that I love him. Marriage just completes everything but being with him was enough. Let him know that you don't want to waste your time in a relationship if its not gonna go anywhere.
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 5:19 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I think it depends on age and maturity. with my currenty hubby, i was giving him until we were together 18 months for him to propose. We were in our 30's and had been talking about having another child. I did not want to be 40 and pregnant.
    Now, if you are in your 20's I think you can wait a little longer.
    One of my friends has been with her SO for 13 years. They have two children together and just got married last year.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 5:22 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • there is no time designated for a question like that.
    if you have to ask, then i think you know the answer.
    also, if you have to question whether he deserves to be with you, then he doesn't. keep a healthy relationship for the sake of the child, but otherwise treat yourself well and find someone who will do the same.
    tavczakbabe

    Answer by tavczakbabe at 5:23 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I wasted a total of 6 years dating and being engaged to Mr. WRONG (I left him 5 months before our wedding!), I then met my now husband of almost 10 years, 16 months after leaving my ex, and we were engaged after 5 months, and married 8 months thereafter.


    Everyone told me that when you find Mr. RIGHT, it will happen quickly, and they were right! I've seen this "phenomenon" happen with several of my friends and co-workers. ;o)

    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 5:24 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • That is definitely something that is really dependent on the 2 individuals in the relationship.

    My husband and I met and married within 5 months. We celebrate out 25th anniversary next month.

    We have some friends. Whe were a serious couple, significant others, lived together for 10 year. Got married divorced within 2 years and no longer even speak to one another.

    So I really do believe it depends on the 2 people in the relationship. What their expectations of each other and their relationship are. And. What both individuals want out of-from their futures as individuals and as a couple.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 5:30 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • DH and met and married but not legally after 6 months. DH has a thing with the government being in our business and didn't see a need for a legal marriage license and I agreed with him, but we did get married in the eyes of our gods/goddesses. We then discussed having kids after being together 2 years and decided to legally get married so I could change my name and have the same last name as the kids. It really boils down to the people and the relationship though. I have known many couples who dated for years and then finally got married (some lived together before some didn't) and divorced very quickly after. Oh and BTW DH and I have been married 6 years in August and have been together 8 years.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 6:51 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • Only you can decide. How do you feel when your with him? If you spend time with someone and you feel drained, stressed and tired, then they probably aren't worth hanging around waiting for. If you feel happier and lighter after spending time with someone, that's a healthier relationship. But don't ever settle or compromise want you need and want.
    wellnessgirl

    Answer by wellnessgirl at 7:06 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

  • I think you moving out is a good idea, it will help you find out if your SO is serious about your long-term relationship with each other. I think I won't move in with a guy until I get married again, I don't want a guy thinking he can get the milk for free so he won't have to buy the cow, if you know what I mean ;-) Some guys would put off a proposal if they know they can just move in with you and get all the benefits of having a woman cook, clean, and sleep with them every night without the commitment of marriage.
    mommymela87

    Answer by mommymela87 at 7:49 PM on Jul. 14, 2010

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