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Should we leave daughter at grandma's house for 2-3 days a week in order to straiten our bills?

We need a second car so we can change jobs. Currently I work nights, hubby works days because we share a car. My hubby wants to get a second job so we can get a second car without a car payment. I know it is with good intentions working 2 jobs, but that will leave our daughter staying at his mom's house 3 days/nights a week and we will pick her up on our 4 days off.(2 his, 2 mine) I am not comfortable doing this, but we also have considerable debt to pay.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:09 AM on Oct. 1, 2008 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • IT IS OBVIOUS THAT THIS WILL TAKE AWAY TIME FROM YOUR LITTLE ONE, AND THAT CAN HAVE SOME NEGATIVE RESULTS. HOWEVER, I CAN SEE THAT YOU GUYS OBVIOUSLY ARE IN NEED OF MORE INCOME, ACCORDING TO WHAT YOU WROTE. I GUESS THE REAL QUESTION IS HOW BADLY DO YOU GUYS NEED A SECOND CAR. IF IT WOULD ONLY BE LONG ENOUGH TO SAVE UP TO BUY AN ADDITIONAL CAR THEN IT SOUNDS LIKE IT CANT HURT TO MUCH, AND ITS GREAT THAT YOU HAVE GRANDMA TO HELP. IT SOULDNT TAKE VERY LONG AT ALL TO GET UP THE MONEY, AND THEN ONCE YOU GUYS HAVE THAT SECOND CAR, YOU GUYS COULD WORK THE SAME SHIFT SO THAT YOU GUYS COULD HAVE MORE TIME TOGETHER AS A FAMILY. AND IF THAT IS THE CASE THEN IT SOUNDS LIKE IT WOULD BE VERY BENEFICIAL TO YOU GUYS. MAYBE GRANDMA WOULD BE WILLING TO BABYSIT THEN. I AGREE WITH THE IDEA OF MAKING A PROS AND CONS LIST. GOOD LUCK AND I HOPE THIS WAS HELPFUL.
    alicia_4307

    Answer by alicia_4307 at 2:41 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • The positive is that it's grammas house. somepeople are stuck using 24 hour daycares. yuk. If it's something you have to do then its good that it's gramma. do you really need a second car? I would try cutting back on things to avoid a second job. good luck
    calliesmommie

    Answer by calliesmommie at 1:12 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • I would only do it if it was absoulutly necessary. It sounds like you are already doing a lot. Maybe make a list of pros and cons of doing it will help. I always like seeing everything down on paper.
    desertgurl02

    Answer by desertgurl02 at 1:41 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • get help and tips at www.slowlanebasics.blogspot.com
    mrssullivan

    Answer by mrssullivan at 4:30 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • it's not going to really hurt her, she's at grandma's you know she'll be fine, just reassue her its only for a little while.
    tntornado45

    Answer by tntornado45 at 8:31 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • It could work, or it could cause problems. The more time she spends with grandma, the more grandma will become the surrogate parent. this could lead to conflict between you when issues come up where you don't agree.

    Also, if grandma is watching the baby half of the time, she may grow weary (she's already raised her kids), and if that happens, any dime of extra money you spend on yourselves instead of on the car or on debt reduction could become a source of turmoil.

    I'm not saying it can't work well, or that there have to be problems, but I am throwing out some potential issues that I have seen in similar situations. Good luck to you!
    lawmom623

    Answer by lawmom623 at 9:18 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Have you ever thought of trying to get jobs that are the same time. That way your daughter goes to g-ma's only during the day when you work. I understand the job market is rough right now but your daughter is young only once. Try making a list of all your bills. See which things are MUST have's and which are not. I know getting another car is important however your daughter is more important. Try cutting corners elsewhere before you cut corner that include your daughters time with you and her dad. Parenting is hard and unfortunatly didn't come with a manual. If you got jobs that have the same schedule during the day then during the night your hubby could work and you would not lose any time with your daughter. You would your hubby though and that will in the end cause problems. A family needs time together. Good Luck
    kelleymagee

    Answer by kelleymagee at 10:40 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Yes we have thought about getting jobs at the same time during the day, but yet again it comes down to the one car issue. He works really early AM and gets off around 2pm, and most jobs for me are 9-5ish which would leave him with no way home. We live 40 minutes from his work and almost an hour from my current job. We have cut our bills down bare minimum(cable, phone, etc) but we are trying to buy a house and need to get the debt gone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Oct. 1, 2008