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My said He Hates Me

Lately my husband has been going through some emotional issues with his family and himself (turning 30 in a few weeks). He's been snappy, rude, and down right mean. He cuts me off while I'm speaking, and during arguments called me out my name. Some favorites, bitch, f!@#in bitch, and the most popular the big C. Recently we got into a heated argument that began over the baby needing a bottle or not, and once again he threw a tantrum punched the door and wished me dead. I don't fear him cause I know he's sleeping with one eye open since saying this, but I don't know if this is the last straw for me. How much should a woman take from an overly emotional husband who WON'T help himself. I've urged him to stop drinking, and speak to someone or go on medication. I've asked his family for help but their just as big a messes. I was never raised in the situations his family has and I just want to take my daughter and run.

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Carmiesmom08

Asked by Carmiesmom08 at 1:15 AM on Oct. 1, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • Lay down the law, shove his ass down onto the couch and tell him that if he doesn't straighten up and stop being a prick and saying terrible stuff to you then one day he's gonna wake up and you just aren't going to be there and he will never see you or baby again and if he interrupts you while you are talking to him tell him in a loud firm voice to shut the hell up you aren't finished yet. Sometimes you just gotta be tough with them for them to understand and if he does not straighten up shortly after then I would just leave his ass alone and see how he likes them peaches.
    Peekalou

    Answer by Peekalou at 1:19 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Keep a journal. Document the verbal abuse - time, date, what was said. Just stick to the facts and write things down verbatim. If you should need it for a divorce (which I hope you never do) -- its really great to have. Also document the outbursts like putting holes in walls, breaking items, etc. Besides being good to have for court -- it should serve as a wake up call to you for what you're putting up with. Would you want your child married to someone like this? Is this what you want them to feel is a "normal" male and female relationship? I would tell him couples counseling -- and its not up for debate. I don't know how bad his drinking is, but you might also consider outpatient rehab. I wish you all the happiness you deserve.
    Serafyna

    Answer by Serafyna at 1:24 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • if you love your husband and primary interest is that he get better then my suggestion is if you have some place to go for a few days do so, but not in a violent or way that he feels threatened or abandoned, perhaps writing him a letter as opposed to a physical confrontation where things may easily escalate to insults and screaming, let him know how you REALLY feel and that you love him and want to be there for him and your family but you WILL NOT allow him to disrespect you,tell him how much his words hurt and the damage it can cause to your Family down the road. it is your duty to protect your chlld and family unit ... and until he makes a decision to work towards a positive change for the benefit of all then you have to stay away for the sake of all ....
    SkylerJsMommy

    Answer by SkylerJsMommy at 1:38 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • sorry but no one can answer that for you have to. how much afre you willing to take how long are you willing to live in that situation and is he worth it is your husband is your marriage worth fighting for but you need to also think about your daughter what is best for her do you want to stay and let her see whats going on or do you want to take her out of it and tell her its not ok to be in a relationship like that and good luck i hope everything gets better
    motherofnikolai

    Answer by motherofnikolai at 1:39 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Well, you are the only one who can decide when you've had enough...no on here is in a position to do that...but I would suggest this first: Pack a bag. Nothing too big, just a few changes of clothes for you and your baby. Write a letter to your husband explaining that his anger is making your home into an unhealthy environment for all of you, but most importantly for your baby. Tell him you love him, and want to be able to work this out, but for right now you both need a breather to regroup and decide what comes next. Tell him you will support him in whatever way he decides to get help, but... Let him know, firmly, that unless he goes to get help (anger management seems like a good start), you cannot continue to live in the same house with him.

    Hopefully this will be a wake up call for him, and he will see the damage he's doing to you, your baby, and himself.
    jespeach

    Answer by jespeach at 4:19 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • tell him how you feel, and if he doesnt understand go stay with a relative or a friend for a week. if you go away for a couple days he may realize that he ant treat you that way anymore and he needs to change. i hope you figure it out. i wish you luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • i just started a journal ,to keep the dates and how mean he is ,so if something ever happens to me my family would no what is going on behind close doors,my husband drinks a lot and dose not no what he did or says that night.ill cry to him to tell him who mean he was and hes says he needs help and hell stop but a few days later hes back drinkin again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

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