Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How can I deal with an unfair mother-in-law?

Ok, so my mother-in-law loves my son but when her 1st grand child is around shes treats her like she hung the moon. I mean its obvious that the camera is on her all the time. My bro-in-law has a wife, who has a son from a previous relationship and she can treats him like seconds too. It makes me so mad bc I don't EVER want my son to feel second to her, even tho my parents make up for that...what can I do when she makes me feel this way?!? It happens all the time and me and I don't know what to do...I've been at the boiling point sometimes where I could just deck her and it would make me feel better!

Answer Question

Asked by G-MansMama at 2:06 AM on Oct. 1, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • probably doesn tdo it one purpose i mean sorry to say but your 1st isnt blood to her maybe she just doesnt like that idea .. idk .. im sorry its happening tho ... give her time

    Answer by iloveyall2008 at 3:23 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • It's probably not deliberate. First grandchildren are always a little bit more special than the rest, no matter that it is not's just what is. Have a talk with her...she may not even realize that she's doing it. You say she loves your son, so she must be showing that somehow. Encourage it. Accept that most every family has a little favoritism, and as long as it doesn't get to a point where she's ignoring her other grandchildren, don't take it too personally.

    You could also come up with some activities your son can do with his grandma that would give them some one on one time, and a chance to get closer. But you may just have to accept that it isn't going to change, and make your peace with it. If she isn't ignoring him or hurting him, that is.

    Answer by jespeach at 4:11 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • Well, I have somewhat the same issue-except my MIL rather spend time w/my SS than w/OUR children-I've never had children outside of this marraige and have never been married before.. She won't come to any of our children's b-day's or other special events unless SS is here or she if she decided to stay (like she did this past year) for a week or two between parties...... And we've talked to her about it, but it still hasn't changed..... We just will allow the children to find out for themselves when they get older-besides they have a great relationship w/my parents-so it kinda evens out-although when ss is here they include him as well in things......

    Answer by MR777 at 9:38 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • I have the same problem!!! My mother-in-law is VERY obvious with who she favors and my best piece of advice to you is tell her how you feel. It may help if it doesn't have your hubby talk to her. She thought I was just being whiny, but when my husband,and brothers went to her she relized mabey she was in the wrong. Good luck! let me know if it helps.

    Answer by jazegurl at 9:45 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

  • oh my mil is the same way.... but our problem is she likes the newest ones and as another is born in our family she quickly forgets about the others... it has made me so mad that i have almost completly stoped taking my kids over there .... and the sad part is she never calls and asks to see them or acts like she even cares...maybe u should just take them over less and less and see if she gets the hint

    Answer by insanemama732 at 9:53 AM on Oct. 1, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.