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Why do some ladies think it's tacky to throw your own baby shower???

I don't understand why some of you think like that. How is it different from someone else throwing you a party?


Asked by cynprz at 9:03 AM on Jul. 15, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 35 (76,208 Credits)
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Answers (17)
  • It's a cultural difference...showers and bday parties...when I lived abroad I found it weird that people threw their own bday parties but they told me that's how they do it...they would never expect someone else to pay for a bday party for someone else. I am used to friends or family throwing the shower or bday party but I do understand that not everyone does it that way and I would never consider them rude or tacky b/c of it.

    Answer by MommyH2 at 9:45 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • The sole purpose of a shower (baby or wedding) is to be "showered" with what you need to start this new phase of your life. A shower is the only gathering where the people invited are expected to bring gifts. That's why it's considered rude or tacky to throw a shower for yourself. You are essentially asking people to bring you gifts.

    Answer by May-20 at 9:10 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • since the term shower came from the idea that people will come and shower you with gifts, to many it's considered tacky. that you are being greedy and just trying to get presents.
    I don't agree with that. Many people coming up don't either.
    I see nothing wrong with throwing yourself a party for a happy occasion, many people do it.
    if you wanted to try and avoid the raised eyebrows from throwing yourself a 'shower' I guess you could just call it gathering to celebrate a certain occasion.
    I think life is short, have fun and enjoy. to miss things like this because people may find it tacky is a shame.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 9:07 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • I look at it like this if someone else throws it for you they can ruin it. my mom threw my first baby shower and it was a disaster. I couldn't stand the smell or sight of chicken thats the only food she got and the cake she got mew was enough for 7 people when she invited over 40 people oh and none of my friends invites were sent out at all. I had to buy my own decorations and gifts for the games. I threw my other baby shower for my self and it was just right. I would prefer to throw my own baby shower if i ever did another.

    Answer by mom2girls82 at 9:09 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • It's like throwing your own birthday party I guess. I feel weird asking for stuff even though most people seem to just want to buy stuff anyway. I don't know. It's in my nature. I never ask for help and when people ask what I want for my birthday or xmas I say "There's nothing I particularly want. If you want to give me a gift I'll love it."

    Answer by RubyPlusOne at 9:18 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • The below answer seems like a reasonable one.

    Who organises it?

    The only person who shouldn't organise a baby shower is the mum-to-be. The whole event should be great fun and completely stress-free for her, while someone else does all the organising and hard work. Friends, family and/or work colleagues are the usual organisers.


    Answer by musicmom08 at 9:31 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • I dont think its tacky some people dont have close familyor dont get along with SO to throw them a shower so why not throw themselves a shower? I dont find it tacky just different

    Answer by starestrada at 9:05 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • I'm not having a baby shower this time around becauseI am having another girl and my daughter right now is only 19 months so I still have everything. But in my family we usually throw ourselves our own showers, that's why I was surprised that so many people actually thought it was tacky! I mean we go all out and we deliver the invitations personally and it's coed with children included.  I guess it might be a culture thing I'm not sure, I'm Mexican American and we love to party lol.


    Comment by cynprz (original poster) at 9:16 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • imo
    less tacky if it is couples shower
    then it can be like husband throwing it for his wife
    all the guys cook and bring dishes to pass
    the woman can play the games

    went to one like this, some men even came into the room to play some of the games, and some of the women did not play but hung out with the men at the grill and drank beer, it was more like a party

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:21 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • It is like asking people for gifts. If they are close enough to you to invite to a shower, then they are close enough to give you a gift without needing prompting by an invitation to a shower. If the party is called something else, such as a tea, or a dessert get together, then this would be fine, but then guests would not be expected to bring gifts. What a mom could do if she wants her friends to help supply her nursery is to throw an open house after the baby comes, call it a meet the baby party. People might bring presents to that.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:23 AM on Jul. 15, 2010