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4 Bumps

Do your kids do this to you?

My kids for some reason talk back to me I try to correct them as they do this but they are upset with me at the moment I tell them to watch their tone or they'll get smacked on the lips (I have done it lightly but not hard enough maybe I should...lol) For example I war them up in the mornings for whatever reason and they are like... I AM UP!!! Or we can be all at the table having dinner and I notice they are not eating as usuall and as soon as I say eat... They are like I AM EATING!!! They know not to talk to dad like that bc dad does not mess around.
I do not baby my kids but damn I wish they would give me the same respect.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:48 AM on Jul. 15, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (14)
  • You have to teach children to respect. Moms tend to be softer on their children, thinking that is what earns them respect. The truth is that the more you require them to toe the line, the more they respect you. That's why they respect their dad more. They know he won't put up with the stuff that you do. My husband and I both spanked our children for disobedience and disrespect. when they got older, if they disrespected me when he wasn't around, I spanked them for it. Then when he got home, it was reported to their dad, and he would sometimes spank them again for disrespecting their mom. You might try something similar in your home.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:54 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • you said yourself you are telling them do this or else they will get smacked?
    no matter how lightly you are doing it, it's still a threat.

    sounds to me like you are snapping at your kids, so they are snapping back.

    if I were you, I'd look into getting some advice from a professional. This isn't a insult,but if you are having troubles with your kids then I would go look for some advice.
    good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • ok, maybe it's just me, but why does anyone think that spanking is going to get them respect? just because it gets you the behavior you want out of your kids does not mean that they truly respect you.
    it just means they are playing the game they need to in order to avoid the spanking-

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • It sounds as if there is lack of over all discipline and empty words. Actions speak louder then words; Tell a child they are going to be discipline over and over and over again is not the same as actual discipline. They have learn mom saids this stuff but she doesn't do it, so it means nothing. I'm not against spanking, but I think a smack in the mouth is NOT discipline.

    Discipline: spanking (on bottom w/hand), time outs, standing in corner, toys/games taken away, not being allowed to go somewhere or with anyone.
    SAHMinIL2

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 10:20 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • Kids don't respect parents who hit them. That's fear. If someone told you you had to behave or they'd hit you how would you feel? Would that inspire fear or respect?

    We need more info here. When you tell them to get up are they actually up? If they're still in bed and argue that they're not then tell them you don't tolerate lying and make them get up. If they are up and they're saying they're up then why are you telling them to get up? What don't you like about the way they're eating? Try being more specific. If you need to go out after dinner then tell them they need to be done within 10 minutes so you can leave. If they're just pushing their food around ask them to stop playing with their food. If they are eating and you just tell them to eat it's going to confuse them.
    RhondaVeggie

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 12:04 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • ug yes i am hoping this is just a phase but we are trying everything we can to make her to stop like whenever she does snap back..he tv is gone in her room...if she snaps again then something else is gone
    LOVE_mygirls58

    Answer by LOVE_mygirls58 at 3:47 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • When they talk back to you, walk away. Do not engage them in a power struggle. Later on, they will need something, anything, from you. At that point, deny their request. "Mom, can I have $10 for (whatever)?" "No, you can't," Then walk away. Get busy doing something, folding laundry or doing dishes, anything. Do not argue. When they ask you why not, and they will, you tell them calmly that you do not like to be talked to the way they talked to you, that you don't see the need to give someone who treats you with disrespect whatever it is they asked for. They will eventually apologize. Accept their apology. They will then ask again for what they want. Do not give it to them. That is the consequence for their misbehavior. But don't be mean about it. You already said no. Stick to your guns.

    You may have to repeat this a few times to get the message into their heads, but if you are firm and consistent, it will work.
    May-20

    Answer by May-20 at 7:00 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • P.S. I learned this from the book Have a New Kid by Friday by Kevin Leman. It really does work. The book is easy to read and has tons of great ideas and advice. I strongly recommend this book to all parents.
    May-20

    Answer by May-20 at 7:02 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • How old are the kids?
    tinamatt

    Answer by tinamatt at 7:55 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • i am going thru the same thing with my all most five yr old whom me and her daddy are tempary spit up on his doing so i get the big temper like if i say no to her give hits me or kicks me a lot so i have know have taken toys away from her but it is very hard being a single partent doing all of this but i try my best and i do a good job
    tanyamac

    Answer by tanyamac at 8:09 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

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