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32 Bumps

Does a happily married man contact an old girlfriend on Facebook and chat several times a week with no ulterior motive?

If you wouldn't mind bumping, I would like to get a wide variety of opinions.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on Jul. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (65)
  • That is a tough question. If they are friends why not but if it is spent talking about old times and things they used to do together I would raise a fuss but if it is just talking about now and kids, marriage and how much life has changed i wouldn't see a problem unless he tries to hide it

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 11:50 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • In my honest opinion.. Formed from my own personal experience with infidelity many years ago, and all that went into the recovery from that (counselling, books, support groups..ect)

    People who are: happy, fulfilled, satisified and content with themselves and /or their marriage. Do not seek out any form of attention, reinforcement, or search for any (no matter how small or big, whether physical, emotional ..ect) need from an outside party.

    Am I saying that is the case with your husband particularly. No. I can't say that because I do not know him, you, what your marriage is like..ect.. Only you and he can possibly know those things.. I'm just sharing what I have learned over the years.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 11:52 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • My DH would talk to his ex on the phone on occasion. I told him I was no longer comfortable with that and if he wants he can talk on FB.

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 11:53 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • Honestly, I wouldn't like that at all..

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 11:53 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • My husband recently set up a facebook account and has gotten in touch with many of his friends from his past.. a couple of them are old girlfriends and such of his.. They chat, and talk on the phone about the past and everything.. But it is completely innocent and I trust my husband 100 percent!!

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 11:54 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • Rekindling old relationships could spell trouble. It may not start out with any ulterior motive but who knows what could develop. Your guess is as good as mine what the guy could be thinking at the time.

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 11:54 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • Yes. Catching up on old times isn't exactly cheating. Every five years at reunion time I hear from guys from my high school. We might write back and forth for months then they go back to their life and all is well. We discuss school and catch up on the years. It's all perfectly innocent.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:54 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • That is a bad sign in my opinion.

    Answer by gertie41 at 11:54 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • maybe. i talk to my exes sometimes just to catch up. we were friends before we dated, and still get along. if you have a problem with it though you should talk to your man about it. let him know it makes you uncomfortable, and ask him to stop. you cant tell him to but you can ask and tell him why you think he should.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 11:54 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • I think some happily married men do. Just because there is a romantic history there, doesn't mean it's still there.
    I'm still friends with my ex. There is nothing sexual or romantic in nature going on at all. It IS possible to be friends with an ex.

    Maybe he's genuinely interested in how your life is going and cares about you as a friend. Not every interaction a man has with a woman has to have ulterior motives.

    That being said, some men are total pigs and will screw around no matter what.

    It depends on the type of person he is.

    Answer by Laila-May at 11:57 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

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