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Are parents/family usually right about not liking an SO/DH??

My family hates my SO. They say he is fake and close minded. He is a VERY private person so he does kind of put on a fake show for them. My parents are pressuring me to leave him because they say we aren't right for eachother and that I need to face the music. I'm 24 years old and should be able to decide that on my own, but my parents are so against him that it actually makes me second guess my relationship. We live 400 miles away from my parents and they have only seen him 6 or 7 times over a weekend and such... Are parents usually right??

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Jul. 15, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Sometimes yes and sometimes no. Listen to what they say - your love is blind - but if they don't know your S/O very well they might not be right.

    My parents didn't like my 1st fiance. They said he was selfish and rude and a liar. He cheated on me, knocked me up and left me.

    My (now) husband's parents didn't like me b/c I already had a child and they thought I would have a child with their son and then leave him. We've been married for 4.5 years now and I'm pregnant with our 3rd child together. We have a healthy, happy marriage.

    My husband's parents didn't like their daughter's fiance because they said he was lazy, disrespectful, mean, and expected her to do everything in their relationship. She "oops"-ed her BC to get preggo so that he would marry her, and in the 2 years since then he's cheated on her with 8 women, refused to give her money to buy diapers for their baby, and verbally (and occasionally physically) abused her
    SAHM_USAF

    Answer by SAHM_USAF at 12:51 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • Mine weren't right... In fact the night before my wedding my mother was telling me she didn't give us a year... Now we have officially been married longer than ANY of her marriages... I say follow your heart, and ignore everyone else.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:41 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • NO..they are not usually right, my parents dident like my hubby either...he would go away to work 6 hrs awayevery summer, and thats when it would start...oh he is out there cheating,..blah blah blah....lol ANyways..i ended up marrying him and we have a beautiful daughter, i love him and he loves me, make your own decision...its not your parents who have to live with him!
    mommylisar

    Answer by mommylisar at 12:41 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • I think that it's wise to consider their input and try to examine your relationship objectively for any possible red flags. If they are noticing a behavior, perhaps it really DOES exist--but perhaps there's a good reason! If you only see people a few times per year on their turf, a lot of people might feel uncomfortable. Even more so if they know the people they're visiting don't like them!

    If your family is normally the meddling kind, I'd take even less stock in it. But only you know the dynamics of your family.

    My SO's dad HATED the now ex wife from pretty much day one. He begged his son not to marry her. The issues he saw? He was spot on. SO admits it now...that he was wrapped up and the inertia got him (at about your age).

    The other thing to consider is your life experience. At 24, you're still a pup and you will likely change a lot in the next few years. Take your time and be SURE.
    BuddyRoo

    Answer by BuddyRoo at 12:52 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • It depends on their reason for disliking him, and how well they know him.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 12:53 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • Sometimes they are right and sometimes they are not. Your SO sounds shy, just like mine. My parents were a worried at first, but now that we are married, and they have spent more time with him, they realize he is as wonderful as I say he is. Just tell your parents that they need to give him more of a chance, and once he gets to know them better, he will perk up around them. YOu need to tell them that just because they assume he is not good, does not mean you agree. At this point they either have to accept or relationship or they have to wait until you contact them. I would also keep an eye out regarding your SO. It never hurts to be too careful.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 1:11 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • My parents HATED my husband. They were so against us getting married, that we barely spoke for the first 3 years of our marriage. They showed up late to our wedding, in the middle of the ceremony, stayed 15 minutes, and left. They were horrible to him. They were wrong. We'll celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary in September, and it's been 13 wonderful years. My husband is awesome. If I had given a crap about how my parents wanted me to live my life, I would have missed out on a lot.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 12:47 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • no they are not right. dont second guess yourself go with your first instincts.
    karglynn

    Answer by karglynn at 12:47 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • Sometimes they're right and sometimes they're not .. but it's probably very smart to listen to what they have to say, find out why they feel the way they feel, and then do some good hard thinking and honest evaluation of the situation on your own.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 4:00 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • Parents are usually right. If I were you, I would be listening to them.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:05 PM on Jul. 15, 2010