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How come my In-laws acknowledge my BIL's accomplishments more than my husbands?

My BIL is in the army and i can understand them being proud of him for that but they do not acknowledge anything my dh does. I don't know if it hurts his feelings but i am deeply insulted by this. I go over there and they have the entire house decorated in Army shit, even a huge poster of him as you enter the garage. They have all kinds of stuff in their yard too. They did'nt even tell my dh congrats on his promotion at work. I know they love their sons equally (i even believe they favor my dh a little more) but i don't understand whats up with them?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on Jul. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Honestly, that's a question that only they could answer. If you are brave enough, you could say to them what you have noticed and ask them about it.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:44 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • Were they veterans themselves? That could explain some of it and some people feel the military is the ultimate. Those service members put their lives on the line for us. I would be very proud too (I am from a family of veterans) but think your husband deserves congratulations on his promotion also. Tell him some cafe moms say congrats!! You say your in laws might even favor your DH a little. So does that equal things out? Sounds like they are both great guys.

    Answer by elizabr at 2:48 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • How do they favor your husband, then? Perhaps they're overcompensating?

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:50 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • I think they favor my dh more just because they see him more and because they like me. They dislike my BIL's wife. Example...around holidays they like to give cash. They will give us more than they will them because (his wife) will take BIL's holiday money and spend it. So they give them less.

    No they are not veterans. Dh's grandfather was

    I just don't like going over there. I feel like its a shrine to my BIL

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:08 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • Because people see what they're looking for ...

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 3:32 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • Honestly? I don't think it has to do with "accomplishments". It's not like they're celebrating that he goes to work every day. They're just being patriotic.

    My brother and SIL are both in the military. My whole family is really proud to have them serving our country. And yes, we tend to talk about things they are doing or where they are or when they'll be home next. And no, we don't talk about that kick ass server I just put together or how great my other brother's new job is going.

    They're just different things.

    Answer by BuddyRoo at 3:53 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • My son is in the Air Force too.I am proud of him.But someitmes you don't appreciate what is right there infront of you.Maybe they miss him because he doesn't live near them?

    Answer by evelynwest at 5:39 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

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