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I was always the "yes" parent - their dad died three years ago

how do I change who I have always been - I have no other family to help out and I am scared I am screwing them up.

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debhock

Asked by debhock at 4:32 PM on Jul. 15, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • There's a book entitled AGE OF OPPORTUNITY by Paul Tripp that might be of some help to you. It's a guide for parenting teens.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:33 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • When making the decisions pretend they are not your kids. Doing this will help take out the emotional aspect.
    mrs.coop

    Answer by mrs.coop at 4:37 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • You may want to find a therapist to help you establish yourself as the parent you are trying to be. We went to one for our son's behavior issues and it helped to have his advice to work things through.

    Also, your library or school district may have parenting classes.
    happytexasCM

    Answer by happytexasCM at 4:47 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • I am not always a "yes" mom, but I am a softy. As they got older it was easier because when situations are more serious, dating, driving, drink or drugs, it is pretty easy to say no. Set limits and boundaries that are fair, you are not trying to ruin their fun but you do have to keep them safe. You are still their parent and not a friend and it is hard, but ask your self what would their father say about something and go from there. Stay strong and be honest and open with them. Good luck.
    wallmom1

    Answer by wallmom1 at 5:44 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • It's important that you learn to establish boundaries for yourself and your children. Saying yes all the time doesn't help them, in the long run, understand consequences for their actions. Suggest reading "Boundaries: When to say yes, when to say no, to take control of your life" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 5:54 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • Your family has been through so much. Family counseling would a great emotional checkup for all of you.


    I love the book Raising Our Children Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort. You can learn more here: http://www.naomialdort.com/

    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:04 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

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