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I am just so mad..what should I do??

Is it really wrong that my step son loves me, and is it really wrong that I want to be apart of his life?? My husband and baby mama are trying to come to an agreement because she does not want s-son to spend nights with us. My husband has told her many times he will not agree to anything less then the standard order. We have court in August to finalize everything and he will get that or more. But no she wants to come to an agreement but wants him to take less time. He on his own will not do it. Well now she is saying that its because of me and that I am pushing him on this. oh and she makes comments like "you stupid girl go have your own son and leave mine alone." oh and now her sister is threatening to "take care of me".lol wait that part is actually funny. But I just don't understand how some mothers can be so self concerned and not care for the kids feelings. What do y'all think I should do??

 
mom_angelface

Asked by mom_angelface at 10:33 PM on Jul. 15, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 7 (170 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • she is just jealous. i would ignore her until the court order is settled
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 10:35 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • Well..its sometimes hard for a bio mom to accept that another woman can represent her place as a mother..even as a step mother. It hurts. Especially if she feels that she lost her husband to the woman...then she feels like she may lose her child to.It doesnt make the feeling right...but it is understandable.
    The best thing you can do is step aside and let the parents handle the siuation on thier own...the child is THIERS. Let time pass...just support your husband in his decisions but don't push. Let being part of your new step sons life happen naturally.Over time, the bio mom will have eased up and her feelings will move on. But she needs her space and she needs to feel like she hasn't lost total control over her entire life that she once knew.
    Good Luck..hope everythign works out for all of you.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 10:39 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • I wonder if she doesn't get him most of the time that she won't get child support from your husband. I would hope that's not the motive....I hate seeing all the fighting that happens..
    CAGirl4

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 10:36 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • I don't get it either hun. My dd's bio mom absolutely hates the fact that she calls me mommy. She told me I should correct her on it, but she came up with it on her own. I've been the one caring for her and loving her ever since she came into my life. Her bio-mom doesn't have custody of her, calls twice a week (if that) and gets to see her 4 weeks a year. Yet she has a problem with her calling me mommy. You should get a recorder if you don't already have one and have ALL the convos recorded. The fact that she is having her sister threaten you really shows that she's out for the best interest of the child. Gosh I wish you the best of luck. I know what you're going through and it sucks, but it will work out in the end.
    nicolemstacy

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 10:38 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • She sounds like a real piece of work. You keep loving that little boy and hopefully the judge will see fit to give you all visitation and then maybe she will shut up.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 10:41 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • You should stay out of it.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 10:40 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • Part of me can understand her fears and worries. I can't bear the thought of my children having a step mom or another mom to turn to. They are MY children. I carried them, I birthed them, I breast fed them, I've cared for them and kept them alive, healthy and happy since the moment they were born.
    To feel like my relationship with them could be compromised in anyway is a horrible, horrible thought.

    I can see your side as well though because I would love any future step children I may have as if they were my own and I would want their mom to be happy about the extra love they are receiving and not upset about it.

    Put yourself in her shoes.
    How would you feel if the roles were reversed and it was your children.

    She may be being a bit irrational and emotional but in all honesty, I would be too.
    I would leave it up to your husband to deal with. It's not good for the kids to have everyone fighting.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 10:42 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • I think that's really sad.
    I must say... I could never imagine another woman raising my child. If she was a decent woman I would like to think I could be civil, for the sake of my child.. but I don't think I would like it.
    I think it is great he is sticking to his guns. Sounds like he wants to be and is a great dad!
    For now, I would try your best to ignore her attacks. Show that you are the bigger woman and leave it at that.
    ToriBabe1221

    Answer by ToriBabe1221 at 10:44 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • I'd love to "baby mama" side of the story. The fact that you call her that shows that you have no respect for her.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 10:49 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • Read up on Parental Alienation Syndrome. I'm not saying this is what is happening in your case, but it does happen that parents, male or female, will harm the child for personal emotional reasons. I would be very careful if I were you and I would document the threat from her sister. You are grown now and if someone wants to physically assault you, there is no reason for you to act like you are still in grade school. Adults don't do that. Keep notes and be very careful about what you say.
    LauraMi261

    Answer by LauraMi261 at 10:49 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

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