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Were you encouraged a lot as a child?

Did your parents encourage you to do things and strive for more when you were growing up, or do you feel like you were lacking in encouragement?

I love my parents, but I don't feel like I was encouraged to follow my dreams or to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I sometimes really wish they had pushed me and had me more involved in things when I was younger. I wasn't even encouraged to go to college. I don't have any hard feelings toward them, but I really wish they had been more encouraging to me and more supportive of things I was interested in.

 
KTMOM

Asked by KTMOM at 10:46 PM on Jul. 15, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 24 (21,616 Credits)
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Answers (8)
  • I was very very lucky in that my mom encouraged my art and creativity even against my dad's wishes. It is the one thing that has kept me grounded, the stabilizing constant in a life of upheavel and transition. I am very sorry your parents did not encourage you much. The cool thing, though, is that you can give yourself now the encouragement you lacked then. Good luck!
    angelenia

    Answer by angelenia at 11:02 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • no not really my mom could give a shit less what i do/did
    DeeMarie87

    Answer by DeeMarie87 at 10:48 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • Yeah I wasn't so much encouraged either. I was compared a lot to my older sister who seemed to do everything right. "Why can't you be more like your sister?"
    "You sister doesn't seem to have a problem making straight A's, why aren't your grades as good?" etc...

    Anytime I had an idea that I thought was a great one and I was excited about it they would say "oh...oooohkaaaay." Sarcastically.
    I know they didn't mean any harm and I had a 96% good childhood but there are definitely negative things I remember.
    I am going to encourage the crap out of my kids and support them the very best I can because I don't ever want them to feel like they're not good enough.

    Those feelings have followed me my whole life and I still feel them today. I don't want that for my kids.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 10:52 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • I'm in that boat with you! I actually was discouraged by my parents when it came to anything artistic (the stuff I was really interested in) because it was "a waste of time" and "impractical". I felt like a round peg being forced into a square hole most of the time. One good thing that did come out of it. I am very adaptable and have no problem doing things I'd rather put off or not do.
    NikkiMomof2grls

    Answer by NikkiMomof2grls at 10:52 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • Not at all...Whenever I did something I got the "well that is stupid" comment...even though it wasn't my mom was just a very unhappy person who could not give praise no matter what
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 11:00 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • No, I wish I would have been encouraged more. But I also have no hard feelings about it.
    sunshineemommy

    Answer by sunshineemommy at 10:50 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • I was sent to school, church, and told I would go to college. For what? I don't know. Homework was never a concern, any question I had about school was never a concern. School and church were supposed to guide me completely.
    LauraMi261

    Answer by LauraMi261 at 11:14 PM on Jul. 15, 2010

  • I didn't get much encouragement but I paved my own path and set my own goals...and reached them for the most part. The only thing I wish my parents would have had me do was more chores. I remember being a whiny brat when asked to do something and I was so ungrateful ~ I have since apologized many times. Now that I have kids, I make sure that they have chores and they are really a blessing around the house...couldn't do it without them! =)
    7blessings

    Answer by 7blessings at 12:08 AM on Jul. 16, 2010