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Mind if i vent?

It's so frustrating. DH and i were supposed to TTC in 2009. But my mom died and i inherited my brother. And i also raise my stepson. So we put TCC on hold. I'm 23 and feel so out of sorts. I'm not like a normal mom. I know i'm plenty young. But i'm caught between Maiden and Mother. I don't have baby stories. I don't have a birth story and it puts me in an odd place when i'm trying to make friends.
No one gets it. My childless friends don't understand because i'm a mom. But even my mommy friends don't get it because i've never given birth. And even my stepmommy friends don't understand because they didn't adopt a child who was older than their stepchild.

i want my own baby. And my sister had a baby on Monday and i was one of the first to hold her. made me so sad.
and yet, I'm telling my husband we should wait another 2+ yrs before we TTC. because it's the rational choice.


Asked by outstandingLove at 12:43 AM on Jul. 16, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 20 (9,136 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • My son is adopted and we get plenty of insensitive questions. I give "minimal answers" and try to remember most people mean well and don't realize how rude or intrusive they seem. When you feel like you don't fit in anywhere, feel free to share w/ us on cafemom. We are all moms here no matter how we got to be one. God bless you and your blended family.

    Answer by tiggermom803 at 1:46 AM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • Don't feel sad, feel proud not everyone can pull off raising a stepson and a brother, your young, strong and smart. look past peoples questions and answer theme with minimal answers and look ahead towards your goals and plans, as for having a baby your still a young women there is plenty of time, do what you think is right and don't feel pressured by peoples quetions and what if's.


    Answer by looovemybabies at 1:02 AM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • Sweetie, you ARE a mom. You have plenty of time to have a biological baby too. Hang in there.

    Answer by KTMOM at 12:45 AM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • you are so young~soon all things will come for you. I didn't birth until I was 31 and adopted at 38 and 41~
    I hear you want to get started, but let me tell you its better to want~pregnancy is a deal and a half....once was enough for me...I could adopt again in a heart beat~

    Answer by surfcitymom at 12:48 AM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • I hear you there. I had a hysterectomy right after I married. We are now in the process of adopting. They are the light of my life and I don't even care that they did not come from my tummy. I will raise them telling them they were born in my heart. So yes, I have zero pregnancy or birthing stories and I never will. It feels funny sometimes, especially since there are twins involved. People always want to hear about a multiples pregnancy. I typically try to get ahead of people if I sense they are going to get personal. Just be thankful that your day will come. You have the joys of motherhood now and soon you may have the chance to give birth and add to your family. :)

    Answer by love2snorkel70 at 1:01 AM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • see u 're too young to take care of a young baby as well.Try to work out with the issues that you have at ur disposal first,then look forward for newer responsibilities

    Answer by A11 at 4:55 AM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • yea. i'm a mom. i know. that's why i'm here. lol. wouldn't be here if i didn't consider myself a mom.

    i just sad when people ask me how the boys got along as babies (they're only 13 months apart). or if they have different dads (not surprisingly, they don't look anything alike). Or if i enjoyed being pregnant and other such things as that.

    Comment by outstandingLove (original poster) at 12:48 AM on Jul. 16, 2010