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3 Bumps

I cannot orgasm... adult content

Ok, my SO and I have been kind of rocky lately, theres been a lot of fighting. We talked it through and decided to start going to counseling and work on fixing things. The last few times we've had sex, i've faked my orgasms. Im attracted to him, but it's like it just doesn't feel good enough to get me off. I have tried several different stratagies, and nothing works. But, when I'm alone and masterbating, I can make myself climax super fast. Last night, I didn't fake an orgasm, I simple told him it wasn't working and that I though I was just too tired. What do I do to fix this?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Jul. 16, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • My thoughts

    1) I never ever fake it. If it isn't feeling good and isn't getting me off. Then faking it does nothing but prolong the problem. When a woman fakes it, the man automatically assumes it's good, she's enjoying herself, and he's going to keep doing what he's doing. Pointless. If it's not enjoyable, the man needs to know. He needs to know it's not enjoyable, why it's not enjoyable, and what can be done to make it enjoyable. That's part of sexual communication that every couple should have. The only way to make sex better, is to talk about it.

    2) If clit stimulation during sex has been tried. And still no "O". The most likely reason is because of the emotional feelings going on right now. Most women need to be emotionally stimulated, and have that emotional safety and connection in order to relax enough to orgasm. As long as there are problems that need to be worked out then this may continue to be a problem
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 11:26 AM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • Don't forget, your mind has to be turned on just as much if not more than your body does. Your mind is no doubt preoccupied with your relationship problems and that's preventing your body from fully enjoying itself. Try talking about it with your SO. The honesty might help.
    HotMama330

    Answer by HotMama330 at 11:36 AM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • I will say though, that i could not orgasm with my ex husband. i tried to make our sex life work, but it just didn't no matter how hard i tried. I was lacking love for him & i think that's what really made it hard. eventually, we stopped having sex all together because he grossed me out so much & it ended in divorce. Sometimes, people are just not sexually compatible.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:38 AM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • it could just be all the stress that you are under trying to make it work. just relax yourself before you have sex. Try massages on just a back rub...ask him for one. that way is more meaningful then just having sex.
    branmomma32

    Answer by branmomma32 at 11:30 AM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • bring your vibrator in the bedroom when you guys have sex & use it on your clitoris while he is inside of you. If you have to fantasize that it's Brad Pit, go for it, he does not have to know.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:36 AM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • I agree with pixie, you shouldn't fake it and most likely it has to do with your lack of emotional connection to him right now. I know if I'm feeling off with my relationship, I have problems connecting during sex, and ends up with him satisfied and not me, but I still don't fake it. Also, how have you been feeling lately about yourself? Lowered self esteem can take a toll in the bedroom as well. I am not really sure what to suggest to help you, except if you want to orgasm try really hard to get all the "junk" of the relationship out of your head and just enjoy the moment, talk to him about the subject and see if there's something else you can try together (more foreplay, different positions, etc), and you might even bring it up in counseling, they are professionals and might have some suggestions as well.
    kicknscreamn222

    Answer by kicknscreamn222 at 11:37 AM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • never fake it, and do what samurai_chica said- my hubby loves watching me get off like that !
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 12:51 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

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