Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Can feelings change for the better?

I have a close guy friend and we have a great connection. We hooked up a couple times over the winter but he didn't want a relationship and my feelings were too strong for a friends with benefits. We both have kids and he has some crazy baby mama drama that was too much for us to handle. We lost contact for a couple months because I couldn't handle being around him with my feelings being the way they were. Recently we've started talking again and he calls or texts me everyday wanting to spend time with me. Is it possible that his feelings have changed. I don't want to bring up the subject again and make things awkward all over again. I just don't think that my feelings for him will ever go away.

Answer Question

Asked by yezay at 12:01 PM on Jul. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (567 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I really don't think you should put yourself out there all the way yet. Give it a little time, figure out where he is at in his life, some time has passed maybe things have changed. I think for us girls it is easier to get emotionally attached a lot quicker, I know I do! So just take it slow, for now enjoy the friendship and enjoy having him around and just hang out maybe things will progress.

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 12:04 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • Thank you, that's what I've been doing. i don't want to get my hopes up, I just really enjoy his company and he seems to enjoy mine. I'm making an effort not to call or text him first even if I want to. The only time I call or text him first is if I'm inviting him to hang out somewhere otherwise i wait for him.

    Comment by yezay (original poster) at 12:06 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • i say be honest with him and if he cant be honest back let him go...and as for the baby mama drama thats always going to be there so your going to have to suck it up if you want a relationship with him...good luck

    Answer by cara124 at 12:06 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • I'm definitely the one willing to put up with it, he was just trying to save me from it. He has apologized for getting me involved in it, but I honestly think he's worth it and if we're supposed to be together we can make it work. I think that it's to early to be honest with him like that again, I need to feel it out for a little bit longer. I want him as my friend regardless but I'm always going to have those feelings.

    Comment by yezay (original poster) at 12:09 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • oh yes the baby momma drama! I went through it with my husband when we first started dating, if you are willing to stick it out then yes in your eyes he should be worth it! I got called every name in the flipping book, she hated me, she just hated the fact that I was around her daughter not so much that I was with him. It took she and I battling it out for about 7 years before she finally got the hint that I wasn't going anywhere and it was best for our daughter if we just got along! It sounds like you are pretty much aware of your feelings and not wanting to push him away or move too fast, keep doing what you are doing. I am sure he'll come around :)

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 12:13 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • Thank you, it's a weird situation because he, his baby mama, and I all worked together at one point. They only dated for about a month and broke up right before she found out she was pregnant. She doesn't want to be with him so that's not the issue. She just thinks that i shouldn't want him because she doesn't. Now they're both gone and I never see her, but we were aquaintances while he and I were friends so we know each others boys and we have some friends him common. I just hope that he breaks down that wall that he's built up because of her and is able to see what it is that he really wants. He hasn't dated anyone since her because she messed him up so badly. He's a great guy and puts his son first which I have no problem with.

    Comment by yezay (original poster) at 12:20 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • Sounds like my hubby! His ex was crazy, she still is but now someone else is dealing with her and I feel bad for him, LOL! One of the things that attracted me to my hubby is the fact that he was so into his daughter, when I met him he was working like 60 hrs a week so he could provide for her cuz the baby momma wasn't working so he was helping her. He was a young father, met when I was 19 he was 20 he could of easily just not done anything for his little girl but he choose to stick around and I will always admire that about him, he may not be the greatest husband all the time but he's a great father. That is a good quality in a man!

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 12:25 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • Yea this is like my friend, he has 55 hrs of work in 4 days. He works as a cook, but he's always giving to his son to make sure he has everything he needs. He takes him whenever he can and is so proud of him.

    Comment by yezay (original poster) at 12:29 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.