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Baby daddy's new girlfriend

I found out recently that my ex has a new girlfriend which I don't have a problem with, but I saw that she commented on a picture of my son saying that she "loved" him. This leads me to believe that she's met him even though I've been told nothing about her and have never met her. I'm bothered by this, am I over reacting?

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yezay

Asked by yezay at 12:42 PM on Jul. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (567 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Perhaps your ex just hasn't told you about her yet. It seems to me if she "loves" him, she's already met him.
    parrishsky

    Answer by parrishsky at 12:45 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • Not really, I would be bothered if my ex brought new people around our kids without telling me. Talk to him and ask how he'll feel if you had a new man in your life that was around your children and you didn't tell him about it. It goes both ways when either one of you get a new person in your life the other should know since they will be spending time around your children. I would want to know if this girl is a bitch or is nice. You always hear about those evil stepmothers/fathers or girlfriend/boyfriends that treat the kids like shit and just put up with them because the want to be with the father/mother.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:46 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • Yea, i looked on her facebook and from the sounds of it she doesn't have custody of her own girls. She always seems to have a lot of free time without them. I'm sure he'd just say that he doesn't care who I bring around our son, but I do!
    yezay

    Comment by yezay (original poster) at 12:53 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • I would make it very clear that you need to meet his new girlfriend, he should not be taking your baby around someone he is in a serious relationship with and not even have the respect to inform you that the baby will be with him and his new girlfriend. Do you have a court order visitation? if not, then you should supervise the visits from here on out. Tell him to meet with you at a local park or McDonald's and if he brings this girl then that gives you an opportunity to see what she is like around your child.
    geminisummerz

    Answer by geminisummerz at 12:55 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • He has him every weekend, but that's barely 48 hrs when i have him for the rest of the week. I don't see any reason for his girlfriend to be around during the 2 freaking days a week that he has him!!
    yezay

    Comment by yezay (original poster) at 1:03 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • Please don't take this the wrong way, but i kind of do think you are over reacting. It's not up to you who he decides to be with. Your not his mom & you cannot make the ultimatum that you must meet & agree with the girl he chooses to be with. The fact that she may not have custody of her kids is also none of your business. You can try to get the court involved, but they will tell you that what your husband does with his personal time is none of your business & that means his GF is none of your business too. Did you expect him to stay single forever? He is human & has every right to have lady & sorry to say this, but he has every right to let his GF meet your son. It might bother you, but there is nothing you can do about it. When i left DH, i moved in my my then BF (now DH)& he tried using it against me in court & the judge laughed at him & told him my relationships are none of his business & that is the truth.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:10 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • You should look at the bright side...his new GF loves your son. Would you rather him have a GF that does not like your son? you are not togehter anymore & you cannot control his actions, or who he is with. There is no law that says a baby's daddy cannot have his new GF hang out with HIS baby. (it's his child too). Just cross your fingers & hope for the best & wish them luck on their relationship.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:12 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • FYI, if you don't have a legal custody agreement & you try to supervise all the visits without a court order, he can easily go to court & demand visitation without you& make it legal. UNLESS you have real good prof that he is an unfit father, there will be nothing you can do. And him having a new girlfriend around, will mean nothing to the court. They don't care who is dating who, all they care about is if the child is loved & safe & he is obviously safe over there if you let him go over there every weekend.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:15 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • Samurai, i never said I had a problem with him dating her I said that my issue is that i don't know her and she's around MY SON and I am HIS MOM!
    yezay

    Comment by yezay (original poster) at 1:16 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

  • I understand that, but its his son too & he has a right to introduce HIS son to his girlfriend. This is something that ex's who have children have to deal with at some point. All i am saying, is that there is nothing you can do here.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:23 PM on Jul. 16, 2010

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